This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Bentley chapter.
* Please note this is meant to be satirical. Professors (especially Bentley professors!) are fantastic, and we all greatly appreciate them!
What they say: “Make sure you look over the material for Wednesday’s class.”
What they mean: “Read in detail every single page of the 60 pages I assigned for Wednesday and take extensive notes because I will be randomly calling on you in class and this will count toward your participation grade.”
What they say: “We’re going to have a few short papers this semester.”
What they mean: “60% of your grade is based on three ten page papers that I will scribble red pen all over. These papers will be about boring topics that none of us really care about.”
What they say: “Please come visit my office hours!”
What they mean: “I will occasionally drop by my office so good luck catching me there. No, I will not help you write your paper. No, I do not have an hour to spend explaining to you why double integrals are important. No, I am not going to add back points for that test question you clearly got right that I marked wrong. Please don’t bother me in my office hours; I will be busy either taking a nap or gossiping with other professors.”
What they say: “Good effort.”
What they mean: “That sucked.”
What they say: “No cell phones in class.”
What they mean: “I will likely look the other way and pretend not to notice if you use your cell phone under the table. If I’m in a bad mood I will call you out for using it.”
What they say: “If you have any questions…”
What they mean: “You shouldn’t have any questions because I’m going to do a great job explaining everything. If you really don’t understand something, raise your hand and I’ll answer it for you by going off on random tangents about irrelevant topics.”
What they say: “You made some good points.”
What they mean: “I don’t agree with anything you said.”