For a while I always thought that being perfect, or looking perfect, was the goal. Having an organized calendar, a bright smile, good attitude, never looking down, and exceptional grades with no room for failure. I told myself every day that I had it all figured out, on the outside at least. Somewhere between balancing classes, relationships, on campus involvements, a big workload, and friendships, I realized I was exhausted. I was making myself seem completely put together, when in reality I felt like I was falling apart.
One evening, I sat down with a close friend and came to take in how drained I felt. We connected instantly over feeling the exact same way-this was the moment I realized I needed to stop pretending.
You’re not the only one
College makes that realization hard. Everyone around me seems productive, put together, confident, social, and thriving. Once I started being honest with those around me, recognizing I was burnt out in turn I wasn’t alone. Between midterms, group projects, and all the emotional ups and downs that come with friendships and new relationships, everyone was fighting their own version of the same battle I was. Once we started talking about it, it felt like a weight lifted off the both of us.
Learning to be real
When I stopped pretending that I was perfect, a weight came off my shoulders. I began to find comfort in expressing my feelings to others- how being honest is so powerful in how I feel and how others see me. But I still don’t have it all together. Some days I feel low or I’m behind on coursework or I am disorganized. But at least now, I’m real about it and feel comfortable voicing my true emotions.
So, stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. Embrace yourself and your feelings, the good, the bad, and everything in between. Have meaningful conversations with your friends and learn to be honest. You’ll see that it’s not just you, it’s everyone.