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I think we’ve romanticized mixed signals. The famous “will they, won’t they?” But there is nothing romantic about mixed signals. In fact, they suck. This past week, I have felt stuck in an endless cycle.  

He makes me laugh. He taps my leg under the table. We make inside jokes and share our personal thoughts. I can feel myself starting to fall for him. I can always tell because my heart starts to flutter. I find any excuse I can to see him or text him. I look for him in the hallways and when walking to class. He makes me feel special and as if there’s something he sees in me. We’ll spend hours together that go by like minutes. Late-night drives. Lying in bed and it’ll feel like it’s just us in the world. How he can understand me so well?

I try to hold onto this feeling because I know it’ll fade so soon. I spend nights waiting for a text from him. I’ll try to make eye contact with him just hoping for him to acknowledge me. But all I get is a snarky remark about my choices. I watch as he ignores me as if I’m disposable. Just another person. Replaceable. Not good enough.  

I hate that he has control over my thoughts. That he can change my mood. That he can make me insecure. Make me hate some of the things I love about myself. I hate that he can ruin the moments that I love. Ruin the memories that I love.  

But most of all, I hate not knowing if it’ll be the same tomorrow. That tomorrow maybe I’ll be special again. Maybe I can feel good again. Have my heart flutter.  

There’s nothing romantic about mixed signals.  

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Sarah Looney

Bentley '24

My name is Sarah Looney and I am currently a sophomore at Bentley! I am from Belmont, Massachusetts, which is about 10 minutes away from Bentley's campus. My family has been visiting Bentley's campus since I was little to walk my dog and little did we know my sister and I would both become students here! I am a Human Resources Management major with a minor in Spanish. On-campus, I am an Orientation Leader and a part of the Women's Leadership Program! During my free time, I love to spend time with my friends, walk my dog, and watch movies. I joined Her-Campus because I think it is a great way for students to stay connected and share stories!
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