I never thought that I would have a serious relationship in college, but here I am as a junior coming up on my 2-year anniversary with my boyfriend. Relationships, especially long-term ones, are never easy. Like any couple, we’ve had our ups and downs, but our mutual willingness to work out any issues and continuously put in time and effort have brought us to where we are today. In celebration of how long we’ve been together and the closeness of our connection, my boyfriend and I sat down to put together a list of recommendations for how to have a healthy long-term relationship.
1.Make time for each other – time spent together should be quality time. This means put away your phones and anything else you might have going on and simply enjoy each other’s presence.
2. Take time to cool down after an argument – problems won’t necessarily get resolved the more you talk about them, and people can say things they don’t mean in the heat of an emotional argument. Taking a short amount of time to sit apart with your individual feelings and then coming back together afterwards can prevent things from escalating.
3. Do small favors for each other frequently – little things such as picking up a coffee for the person you’re dating or helping them with a tough homework assignment can help make them feel loved and appreciated.
4. Say “I love you”… a lot – sometimes something as simple as explicitly telling someone you love them can make a huge difference. You can’t say it too much, let them know how you feel every single day.
5. Understand that your partner’s change in mood isn’t necessarily a reflection of how they feel about you – everyone has good and bad days. If your partner is quiet or doesn’t want to talk, it’s okay to check in and make sure they’re okay, but don’t take it personally if they just need some time to themselves.
6. Spend time apart doing other things – your entire identity should not just be your relationship, no matter how obsessed you are with each other. Make sure you are still spending time with your friends and pursuing your favorite hobbies as an individual. Your relationship will be healthier and happier as a result.
7. Send little texts throughout the day – those “good morning” and “good night” texts mean a lot. Don’t forget to check in and remind your partner they’re loved when you’re apart.
8. Get food off-campus once a week – You don’t have to constantly be going to expensive, 5-star restaurants, but grabbing food (even if it’s McDonald’s) or doing another type of cute date once a week can keep the spark alive. Especially with long-term relationships, it can be easy to fall into a routine. College students are still young and should still get to enjoy going on dates.
9. Watch movies/tv shows together – my boyfriend and I love to have a television series or a set of good movies that we can watch together whenever we get free time. It gives us something to bond over and can be a great conversation starter.
10. Show physical affection – little hugs and kisses throughout the day can be comforting and keep you and your partner feeling close. People express love in different ways and it is important to make sure your partner knows how much they mean to you.