10 Thoughts from the Treadmill

As a retired high school athlete, hanging up my cleats once I got to college was depressing. Although I was happy to think that I would never be in a situation where a man with a whistle would yell at me to get on the goal line and sprint suicides until my face turned blue, I knew I would miss being in tip top shape. I was so used to the idea of having practice be my exercise for the day, that as I got to college I realized I needed to become a “gym person”. So I laced up my sneakers, started my best Spotify playlist, and jumped on a treadmill.

1.      Location, Location, Location

This here is one of the most important lessons that I learned from running on a treadmill. Based on how you are feeling or what your gym outfit consists of can depend on the type of running you will do. Therefore you may want to pick one in the corner if you don’t want anyone to see you or you may pick one next to a boy (9 out of 10 times this will make you run faster).

2.      Doesn’t the walk to the Dana Center counts as cardio?

Depending on where you live on campus can either make your walk to the gym a long calf-burning journey over the Bentley bridge or a short stroll away. Either way you are moving and can even factor this distance into your time on the treadmill.

3.      I should’ve just came here for Currito

Nothing is more painful than looking at all the happy souls ordering burritos while you run.

4.      Why are people on the stair machine?

Don’t people get enough of those on the way to class?

5.      *Turns music up to a deafening volume*

Because the sound of me wheezing while realizing that I have only been running for two minutes is more unpleasant than nails on a chalkboard.

6.      Woah Usain Bolt is now running next to me!

We all have had this experience when someone runs next to you, looks at how fast you are going, then magically decides to go faster than you. We get it you’re fast.

7.      Alright well now I’m going to run faster

You reach for the speed up arrow and now you find yourself in a race with the Usain Bolt next to you. Your washed up high school athlete side shows again as you feel the need to compete and win.

8.      Seasons beforehand was a bad choice

9.      I wonder what I look like right now?

Expectation:

Reality:

10.      I think Ed Sheeran was on a treadmill when he wrote the line, “When your legs don’t work like they used to before”

*Wobbles over to get in line for Currito*