Although it may be almost three months since Groundhog Day—I’m holding a ridiculously serious grudge against the famous Punxsutawney Phil.
February was a bleak month, filled with almost constant snow and grey skies—but I didn’t let that get me down. I kept my chin up because according to Phil, an early spring was looming just over the horizon.
I woke up almost every day thinking to myself, “Today will be the day the weather will finally begin to act like spring!” But no. All of February and March I was still feeling winter’s icy breath as a reminder that spring was still far away.
Ok Phil, you get some major brownie points for landing a starring role next to Bill Murray and having an entire movie plot centered around you, but that’s not going to get you off the hook this time. You had one job, Phil, one job.
As March turned to April, I was wondering if spring was ever going to arrive. I feel as though Phil’s blunder is certainly grounds for me to take legal action against him. I’m sure that somewhere in his contract it at least says that he maintains the rights to his hole only if his predictions end up having some kind of merit. Is it too much to ask that he be evicted? I think not.
You can be sure that even if no lawyer will help me with my case, I will never listen to Punxsutawney Phil again. I mean, still being able to wear boots in April is a serious problem. And not just any kind of boots, Uggs. That’s just a crime.
Call me bitter, but I’m sure that Punxsutawney Phil is snickering in his hole in Ohio at our general inability to cope with an obscenely long winter. Here in Boston, as the winter air is replaced by the smell of those awful trees around campus, we can confidently say that spring has finally arrived. If I weren’t so unbelievably excited about being able to wear a skirt to class, I would definitely sue Punxsutawney Phil.
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