Everyone, including myself, has probably felt at least once in their life that going places alone—whether it be to the movies, a restaurant, or a concert— is embarrassing or awkward. I especially have had a hard time going to events or places alone for fear that people would think I’m weird or a loner. Before even leaving for a solo outing, my mind would think of every awkward social interaction that could happen, and the fear of seeming strange kept me from going out and doing fun things because I didn’t want to do them alone.
But I’ll tell you this: Once I started going places alone, to the movies, shopping, or to restaurants, I realized how freeing it could be. Being alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. There’s something amazing about marching to the beat of your own drum, doing something for the sake of your own enjoyment and not anyone else’s. Additionally, while that nagging voice in your head may say people are staring and judging, I promise you they are not. People generally don’t think it’s weird to see someone by themselves. I mean, think about when you see someone alone at a coffee shop or thrifting. Do you usually think it’s weird? No! People are usually too concerned about what they’re doing to worry about what you are doing. On some off-chance, someone does think it’s strange, that says more about them than you.Â
Going places alone also means you don’t have to wait for someone to want to go as well; sometimes friends have different interests, or schedules might not line up, and that’s alright. But it shouldn’t stop you from doing something you know you’ll be sad to miss out on. We must stop thinking that having someone else go with you is a requirement for a good time.
Having a little alone time to go out and take yourself on a date can be so fun and refreshing. A couple of weeks ago, I went by myself to see a re-showing of the Studio Ghibli movie, Castle in the Sky, which is one of my favorites. It was really nice to go by myself and enjoy something familiar during a time when my life has been completely changed by moving to college. Going alone and moving at my own pace is a seriously effective de-stressor.
In college, you’re constantly around other people all the time, which is fantastic. Making friends and forming relationships is so incredibly important. But it’s also important to spend time alone, learn how to enjoy your own company, and get a chance to explore what it is you truly like. Going out and doing things by yourself, it doesn’t have to start out huge. Just focus on the small things like going to a coffee shop or exploring an antique store. The more you do it, the less scary it is. There are too many wonderful things in life you may never get to experience if you forever wait on someone else to go with you.