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Life, Love, And The Pursuit Of Myself: How I Got Through A Plummet Of Self-Confidence And A Toxic Relationship

Do you feel unmotivated all the time or find yourself napping in the mid-day from Monday to Thursday? I was exactly like that. It has been a bit over a semester since moving to Babson, from high school, and although I’m still not yet where I wanted myself to be, I’m getting there.

The first semester of college was really chaotic—the transition to college, a long distance relationship which turned out to be a breakup, and a huge plummet of my own self-esteem.

I found it difficult to escape from the constant sense of frustration and alienation. A lot of Babo kids just like you might echo to this experience where all of a sudden, you’re not the superstar at your school anymore. Maybe you were the one who had his/her shit together—president of multiple clubs or captain of a sports team, while getting all As. Coming to college, I thought I had to start it all over again, from zero. At the same time I felt extremely lonely, missing my friends and being a Pacific Ocean away from home. I began to nap a lot, when I was not in class, you knew where to find me—my bed, my natural habitat. Until one day I asked myself, napping is such a beautiful thing so why aren’t people napping on the weekend?

I soon came to a horrifying realization that I napped because that’s the only way that I could escape from reality. By napping and daydreaming, I allowed myself to be where I wanted. I slept during the day because I hated my life and that just wasn’t right. I cried when I finally faced this issue and talked to a friend about it. So here comes the question: What changes could you make to create a life that you truly enjoy?

“If you’re not doing what you love or living a life that you want, you’re wasting your time.” –Billy Joel

Here are a few things that I started doing to stay grounded, form stronger connection to myself and the people I love.


1. Yoga

Yoga is beyond aesthetic or trendy poses for Instagram pictures; it is a practice to find yourself, and to find strength inside you. Two months ago, when I started practicing yoga, I started to reach that physical balance for poses and found the inner balance that I lacked.

There are so many yoga studios in Boston. Sign up for a one-week free trial and trust me you’ll fall in love with it. On Mondays and Tuesdays, Taylor, the amazing certified Babo yoga instructor, also teaches class at Webster dance studio from 6:15pm.


2. Rugby

As I slowly got myself together through this practice, I had an opportunity to join rugby last month. I used to be a chain smoker, not to mention being athletic at all. However, even though I was literally dying from the fitness training at first, I felt connected with my teammates. With them, I began to push my physical limit and even played in our first tournament. I know there’s still a long way to go, but I can proudly finish the laps, successfully tackle, and embody my kind of excellence. [P.S. I still can’t believe I can do suicides, 20 laps and still be alive for training. You never know what you’re capable of!]


3. A Pescatarian Diet (Vegetarian diet with the exception of seafood)

Yes, it’s difficult to not eat meat, especially when you live on campus. However, being a pescatarian means you are not cutting out seafood, which makes the healthy diet plan so much easier. Before you start adopting this seemingly trendy diet, you have to understand WHY so that you can be persistent and not feel shitty for quitting within three days. They’re very saturated in fat, they hurt the environment, increase your chance of getting heart and cancer disease, and decrease your energy level (Just notice how you feel extremely sleepy after Thanksgiving meal).

It could be hard to consume all the nutrients and protein that you personally need, even though I began to notice my increased productivity and motivation, I am a bit worried about my nutrition balance. It just so happens that I’m part of the Foundations of Management and Entrepreneurship (FME) business “MyStack,” a retail service on campus that sells multivitamins and protein supplements for a lower price, compared to the rest of the market. I am making my purchase and asking for a professionally customized diet plan by our CEO Ryan!

P.S. In my next articles, I will share my experience in getting in and out of multiple toxic relationship and the realizations that I have. Also, once I start taking supplements, I’ll write more sharing this amazing diet plan <3 Can’t wait to be in shape for spring break!

-Lifétchen (instagram @lifetchen)

Small business owner, passionate artist, and aspired influencer
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