Wouldn’t it be great if we could decide how people feel towards us? To make them choose what we think is best for them? To go and change their mind? Walk into a Barnes and Noble or any used bookstore and in some remote corner of the shop you will find a section of books with titles along the lines of How to Make Them Fall in Love with You: A Step By Step Guide and How to Convince Your Friend to be Your Friend Again.
It’s clear that most people desire the reciprocation of feelings in any platonic or romantic relationship. No one ever wants to feel as if they have been abandoned emotionally by someone they care deeply for and when we begin to feel as if we have lost our person emotionally, it is instinctual for most of us to stay and try to make things work. We are convinced, for a short period of time, that we can change someone’s mind until the moment hits when we realize it’s actually quite impossible, that forcing someone to want the same thing as us will never provide the results we hope for. Sometimes this realization happens long after the relationship ends and sometimes it happens before the relationship even begins.
There will be moments throughout our lives when the only thing left to do then is to be emotionally vulnerable. It’s in those moments of vulnerability, when we stand in front of someone confused and tired, that we are able to see the real value and respect people have for us. Someone who genuinely cares about you would never stand in front of you as you open up to them and feed you sorry after sorry and then let you walk away, having come to no compromise and no solution.
Loving and even liking someone is a sacrifice, it means having to worry about someone, having to care for someone, having to be there for someone, but it also means reaping the benefit of having someone provide those very same things to you; someone who cares for you, someone that is there for you no matter what, and ultimately someone that chooses you over anyone else. But, as most of us know, committing to making something work despite our doubts and fears to experience those benefits can feel nearly impossible to do at times depending on our circumstances and where we are in life.
Here’s the thing, I’m not sure who Jerico Silvers is or even if they actually wrote what I’m about to quote them for, but I came across one simple phrase he/she said, and it reads “Most of the best rewards from life come from our ability to commit.” Some of the greatest things I have ever experienced have come from my ability to commit and stick to something with passion and dedication. However, you can’t force someone to be there physically when they aren’t there mentally, and you also can’t sacrifice your own emotional well-being in an attempt to do so but as time will show, it’s the inability to commit that people end up regretting the most.