Friendships are a core part of life, and this year they’ve been more important than ever. However, it’s easy to become overdependent. Friends are great because they’re around to talk, have fun with, and be there when you need someone…to an extent. Over the last year, I’ve learned that there are many types of friendships, and something that might determine the difference between each are the boundaries that each person puts in place.
Boundaries may sound bad in this context, but they’re not. They’re an important part of life as well that every healthy person needs. For example, you need boundaries between work and life and between professional and personal relationships. You designate spaces in your home for school and others for relaxation. Yet, it might seem like friendships are the one aspect of life that could transcend boundaries- aren’t friends always there to help?
When I started falling out of touch with some friends, I was devastated. Did they hate me? Why wouldn’t they want to talk on the phone every week? Why did they always prioritize their schoolwork over me? I would stay up all night working on an assignment if it meant I got to spend time with a friend during the day! All the little things I thought were signs of a failing friendship were actually just the other person setting boundaries. They didn’t mean to send the message that we weren’t friends or that we didn’t care about each other any longer–they just meant to show me that our friendship wasn’t the only thing they focused on.
