The 10 Stages of Midterm Exam Disease

Spring Break is just around the corner, and unfortunately, midterms come right along with it.

There are two types of professors: "Pre Spring Break Tyrants" and "Post Spring Break Grumpy Dinosaurs".

The first category is honestly the best, because hell week is before Spring break begins, which means that the fun will double without having to worry about finding time to study.

The Grumpy Dinosaurs are unfortunately the most prevalent. They like to squash the hopes and dreams of stressed out college students everywhere. 

It should be a crime to assign a 12-page essay due right after Spring Break. Their excuse: "You've got a whole week off. That's plenty of time to finish it and study for the 500 question exam I plan on giving." 

People try to make professors seem human, but when they do stuff like this--it can be difficult to keep yourself from being bitter. I've had people say: "They're human. They went through it before, and now it's your turn."

Is that supposed to make it okay?

Sounds like 2nd grade logic to me. "I only threw the block at his head because someone else threw the block at my head first."

Now, two people have to suffer and everybody is bitter. Hell Week belongs before Spring break!

It hovers like a rain cloud over the heads of students, and I'm hear to say that you can survive it all!

 

Here are the 10 stages of midterm exam disease. If you're having these symptoms, please beware. 

 

  1. Midterms? That's three weeks away, fool. 

    2. Oh, it's two weeks? That's plenty of time to study! Why on earth would I start now?

    3. Hmmm, it's next week. Maybe I should read that unopened assignment sheet...

    4. WTH IS THIS? PROJECT? THERE'S A TEST? WHAT?

     5. STUDY ALL THE THINGS (that I can't possibly remember before tomorrow)

 

     6. Why did I decide to come to college? T-minus 10 hours until test time.

    7. Spends three hours researching viability of being a stripper instead of studying.

    8. Hysterical crying and overcaffineated studying.

 

    9. Okay, we got this.

  10. I'm pretty sure I just failed that, but SPRING BREAK.