Our lives are dominated by numbers. The number on a scale, our GPAs, our grades, our follower counts, calories, and most prominently, time on a clock, rule our lives. We are always trying to find enough time to work out, to get a paper done, to finish those math problems, to take an Instagram picture, to make a healthy meal. We create imaginary deadlines for ourselves– we have to get this or that done within a specific time frame in order to feel worthy. We strive for unrealistic perfection when we let numbers and time control our lives, and then, we end up disappointed when we can’t achieve this unrealistic perfection.
For nearly as long as I can remember, my grades have put stress on my life. I remember I once got a C on a math test in fourth grade and cried for days over it. And I would still do the same thing today. American society has conditioned us to put our self-worth in numbers. From the fourth grade to now, if I get a bad grade, I consider it a reflection of my self-worth and my intelligence. In actuality, maybe I was just confused about the material and didn’t study enough, because I’m human. Or maybe the test was too difficult for me to do well considering the way it was taught. For this semester specifically, maybe learning math is harder to do online. It’s time we start coming up with practical reasons for our failures in numbers. Not excuses, but reasons that don’t discount self-worth or our value as people.
As Americans, our lives are controlled by capitalism. Our capitalistic society has trained us to measure ourselves based on productivity and monetary worth rather than the actual quality of our character. From a young age we begin to measure ourselves by how much work we can get done in a day, how much money we make in a year, and the praise we get for working so hard. This leads to a need to feel productive and perfect at nearly all times, with little room for error.
In a life dominated by numbers and time, we don’t allow ourselves enough grace or slack. Yes, it’s important to work hard and nourish ourselves, but when you based your health solely off of your weight, or your intelligence solely based off your GPA, or your friends solely based off your follower count, you are not living life. You are living perfectionism.
Perfectionism can damage self-worth and growth. If a person expects to get everything right the first time they try something, immediately do well in a class, or adjust to a new lifestyle without a transition period, they will likely give up. As a result, they will place the blame of giving up on themselves, and their own worth. This leads to thoughts like, “I’m not smart enough to be good at math,” or “I’ll never be healthy enough.” These types of statements blame ourselves, rather than unrealistic expectations for our shortcomings.
The fact of the matter is that we all have shortcomings. However, depending on numbers like GPA, grades, weight, etc., causes us to blame our shortcomings solely on ourselves. We fail to take into account other factors that may cause these shortcomings, like stress, a difficult learning style, etc. Numbers can be healthy in some ways. However, it’s become normal for them to control us; it’s become a standard, whether we realize it or not. We made these numbers up. Don’t let them cause you to discount your worth.
Photos: Her Campus Media