After the first week of classes, I participated in a strange American ritual, called “rush.” It stretched across a weekend, filled with small talk, tears and early morning high heels.
I never doubted that I wanted to rush. I transferred to an American college from Australia, and my understanding of sororities came straight from Legally Blonde. I was assured this perception couldn’t be further from the truth, that sororities were simply were about being part of a group of like-minded people, having an instant support system. Over the weekend, I learned it was a little more complicated than that.
Here are a few things I learned along the way.
It’s Not Always Personal
The old “it’s not you, it’s me” line may have some truth. As I arrived each day to find a sorority hadn’t asked me back, my recruitment counselors would assure me that I hadn’t been “rejected”, we just weren’t compatible. After chatting with dozens of people in a short period of time, I found that ‘clicking’ actually does exist. Some conversations were easier than others. Some felt like an interview; others flowed. Sometimes, I would walk into a sorority’s room, and feel a sense of familiarity. Maybe, the age-old line we’ve all been fed isn’t so phony after all!
Rejection is Never Fun
On the flip side, when someone you’re dating breaks up with you because he claims you’re not compatible – even if it’s true – it feels exactly like rejection. When you find that a person you had a seemingly pleasant conversation with decided you didn’t “fit” with their sorority, it doesn’t feel great.
I’m Not Who I Thought I Was
Explaining who you are to a million strangers in a single weekend will leave you with a clearer understanding of yourself. If you don’t really know who you are, I highly recommend recruitment!
I Will Never Like Cliques
Sororities are essentially legitimized cliques. Each sorority has a certain “label”, and each member is characterized accordingly. The cool sorority, the artsy sorority, the fun sorority… People can insist otherwise as firmly as they like, there is a social hierarchy; there’s rivalry. Sororities thrive from exclusion – by rejecting candidates, members feel valued and their sorority feels more important. High School wasn’t overly fun the first time around!
In the end, I decided to withdraw from the process. Greek life does have many upsides. However, it just wasn’t for me.