The Six Stages of Going Outside in the Winter

Since the start of 2015, it has seemed as though the Northeast has been given more than it's fair share of snow and ice. Since Washington, D.C. is located on the southern boundary of this area of the country, we haven't received quite as much of the cold as places like Massachusetts have. That being said, this fact doesn't mean that it hasn't been rough here weather-wise. Bostonians may make fun of citizens of the District for freaking out about the cold all they want, but that doesn't mean that it hasn't been a literally numbing few months (the Potomac has frozen over, for goodness sakes!) Thus, going outside, even for a few minutes, has become quite the struggle, and there are several stages of doing so:

Stage One: Checking the Weather

This process involves either checking the weather online or simply looking out the window. Recently, that view has involved exclusively snow. If the snow isn't budging, time to get that skii jacket out.

Stage Two: Getting Dressed

With temperatures in the teens and the wind chill even lower, these days it's normal to plan for at least five minutes of putting on winter gear before leaving for class or work. Multiple layers are a must, and hats and gloves, along with a minimum of two scarves, are practically required. Forget New York Fashion Week, the new trend is actually looking like a marshmallow.

Stage Three: Steeling Yourself to Go Outside

Every part of your body except for your eyes is covered, and its time to brave the elements. You pause before opening the door, and tell yourself that you are completely prepared for what's about to hit you.

Stage Four: Dealing With the Cold:

Yeah, you weren't prepared. This becomes pretty obvious after about 30 seconds outside, at which point you eyes will start watering up, and your fingers will start to lose feeling. That one inch of skin left exposed will somehow absorb all the cold in the immediate area, and transmit it practically into your bones. If there is a strong wind, well, good luck with that. See you in the Spring when you thaw out.

Stage Five: The Cold Really Sets In:

The destination is barely 100 ft away, and all at once, the trickle of snow turns into a blizzard. All feeling at this point has disappeared from the majority of your body, and every step is a struggle. You're about to give hope completely and just sit down and cry, when finally, you reach the door. 

Stage Six: Going Inside

This is quite possibly the best feeling in the world. All of a sudden, the cold is gone, replaced with peaceful warmth. For the first time in what feels like hours (although, since this post is ridiculously dramatic, it was actually just a matter of minutes) you can feel the majority of your body. Congratulations, you've conquered the cold! Good luck repeating the process for the next two months. 

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