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An Open Letter to the Girl in the Yo-Yo Relationship

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Albizu chapter.

This is to the girl living the unstable love life, and therefore, being affected strongly in every aspect of her happiness in general.  The confused, the sometimes lonely and the strong girl who can have any other relationship just by letting go.  I know how you feel, I once was just like you and let me tell you,  it’s not easy– it’s mostly hard.  This is to the over-thinker, the one that plans ahead and believes that this time will be different.  She asks:  “what if he’s the one?” “What if we’re truly meant to be?”, “Is it worth it, to let go after all we’ve been through?”  It takes a lot of courage to finally put into practice what you decided a while ago. To walk away, to not go back and to focus on yourself.

The 20’s, they are our discovery phase.  We discover what we want to do with life and what we don’t want in a partner or if we even want one at all.  To have fun without attachments, to build ourselves up and to get to know as many people as possible before the responsibilities come in.  A yo-yo relationship is not worth it.  It is toxic and it hurts, it changes you.  Go out, have fun and have time for yourself. Get out of your comfort zone.  You know one of the reasons as to why you can’t let go? Because you already know him, you know what to expect. You are not worried about any surprises, but even so, you get surprised and hurt at the end of the day when you get back with him one more time and everything turns out to be just like the last time or worse.  Your parents and best friend might be right on this one, and they will get tired of telling you the same thing, over and over again.  This may just be infatuation and not love.  You are acting blind and this is why you can’t see what others see in him.  By the way, it’s true:  You have changed since you got to know him… and not in a positive way.

He always comes back to you because he knows you will receive him with open arms.  You are his safe place, but why be the other person’s safe place and not be your own? Focus on school, work or on getting that internship.  Be with those friends that were always there for you when you were at your breaking point; they miss you.  Focus on being happy, it is YOUR time to shine. In the meanwhile, if you get to know someone and he respects and values you, shares goals with you and supports you, then go for it.  Sometimes opposites do attract and those relationships are fun at the beginning, but after a while that type of relationship can turn out to be the nightmare you are living now.  Don’t feel bad or sorry for him or for anyone but yourself, you’ve been put through enough and you don’t deserve to be unhappy or to cry yourself to sleep another night.  Many good things are waiting for you and you will do great after a while. I won’t lie.  It hurts and you will think of going back, but believe me, at the end it’s best if you just let go, and let it be.

 

*Photo Courtesy by Pinterest

Yarilix Santos is a senior undergraduate student majoring in Psychology. She is a DCP fall intern 2016  and research assistant. Loves to read, write and travel. In her free time you can find her either searching for new places to eat at Old San Juan or in a near coffee shop. She plans to go to grad school and study Industrial and Organizational Psychology
Marcela Alvarez Alvarez is a 21-year-old psychology student at Albizu University located in Old San Juan, Puerto Rico. She's the former Campus Correspondent and the founder of Her Campus Albizu. When she graduates, she plans to earn her doctorate degree in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis in Clinical Neuropsychology.  Marcela enjoys reading, listening to k-pop (korean pop music) and watching beauty videos on YouTube. One of her many goals is to start a lifestyle magazine focusing on beauty, fashion, and how it influences mental health.