No one speaks of how draining it’s been
To sit in the same spot every day
Frozen with fear
And unending responsibilities.
Connected with no connection
Like the WiFi stopped working inside of me
Searching for a clearer connection.
Only seeing my mother through FaceTime
Like we’re in the end of times and she’s MomBot
Meant to comfort me through my losses.
Sometimes I cuddle my phone at night
With a picture of your face on the screen
It’s not enough for me
But I’ll take what I can get
I buried my loved ones years ago
And didn’t have to say goodbye through a plastic screen.
Skin cold to the touch
Because it’s metal and not human
Just jolts of electricity.
Is that what it will take to feel again?
Out of reach?
Stuck online?
Still trying to get a degree in the end of times?
Still trying to breathe deeply in the end of times?
Still trying to be at peace in the end of times?
We keep telling each other “when all this is over”
In the end of times.