Way back during freshman year, I met someone who I believed to be the love of my 18-year-old life. There’s an assumption made when being in a relationship that makes the detachment or break-up more difficult, that is thinking you’ll be with that person forever. Giussethy is NOT advising anyone to go into every relationship thinking that it’s doomed from the jump. For future reference to prevent worse heartbreak, these are things I’ve learned in terms of dealing with reaching the endpoint and aftermath of a relationship.
The honeymoon stage ALWAYS feels as though it’ll last a lifetime. It’s spontaneous, romantic, and sweet, but then a few months pass by and it becomes more serious and now it’s real… When it gets real, the fear kicks in and one of two things happen. The effort the partners put in can increase or decrease, and based off of that you get a glimpse of how the relationship may turn out.
When the relationship takes the route of it “failing” or not working out, signs can be: arguing ALL the time, becoming distant towards one another, miscommunication, tension between the two, etc. Noticing a shift in your relationship, whether it’s slight or dramatic, is off-putting.
Some of you may be thinking, “what if I’ve tried to fix it but it didn’t change?”, that’s what I’m here to help you with.
Understand:
* You CAN’T force someone to change, if someone is set in their ways they’re the only ones to decide whether they want to or not.
* It’s one thing to fight for a relationship, but it’s another thing to hold on to an empty relationship.
* It’s okay to remove negativity and toxicity from your life, you’re not obligated to stay in any situation that doesn’t bring any good.
“The unfortunate truth is that having a broken heart sucks and it’s going to continue to suck — until it doesn’t.” – Ashley Ross: How To Really, Truly Get Over A Breakup
Coping with the Break-Up
Crying, sex, drinking, indulging in ice cream are all different ways we deal with a break-up. Some aren’t all appropriate ways in dealing with a break-up, and I don’t judge anyone for dealing with things any way. Other articles will give you a list of things to do, this isn’t one of those lists. These are three tips to keep in mind, which helped get me through my break-up.
Remember:
* Giving yourself time to heal is important.
o But keep in mind, you lived before that relationship, you’ll live after it.
* Get in tune with what you’re feeling.
o Being able to understand and digest what you feel is essential in the healing process. (Distracting yourself will only work for so long)
* See the brighter side of things.
o We aren’t faced with challenges we can’t overcome, so you can get through it.
Breaking up with someone isn’t always a tragic ending, but the beginning of your beautiful and continuous journey. You got through it, and you will continue to do so. Don’t forget to remind yourself of who you are, and the fact that no one can take that away from you.
“Sometimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness and everything to do with strength.” – anonymous.