Two failed situationships back to back. The first one developed one night in August, which was a very special day for me
Something about the way I moved my body on the dance floor
Caught your attention so you ease your body close to mine and
We started dancing and didn’t stop until the place closed
You invited me back to your place and ever since that night it became a routine
I had to be with you every chance I got
You seemed to be enjoying my company so why not?
Never thought to ask you if you wanted something more than just sex because
I was scared of REJECTION so I stayed quiet
Gladly I didn’t ask because things started to change
You became distant and this distance affected me in a way I don’t think I will ever forgive you for
So you became BLOCKED out of my life
Second attempt failed because of the same reason, but
You was DIFFERENT
You found me when I least expected it
I didn’t give you the green light right away because I was still dealing with my first situationship
That eventually ended and I gave you a chance
All it took me was five months to charm me but once you had me that charm went away
YOU CHANGED
You were mean
Aggressive
Manipulative, but
I couldn’t see it because
I was so blinded by the fact you said those three words
I LOVE YOU
You loved me and that was all I heard but didn’t see
Your actions didn’t match those words to me
The disrespect didn’t match those words to me
You told me you loved me, so I told you I loved you too
The only difference is my actions were identical to my words
I held you down emotionally, physically, and financially when I felt like you needed me
In return you gave me NOTHING
Nothing to hold on to
Nothing to be strong for
Nothing to look forward to but something to be so scared to let go of
BEING ALONE
I refuse to let you go because I didn’t want to be alone
It was so easy to finally let go of my first failed attempt, but why not you
You CONTROLLED me
You TOLD me things would CHANGE and I came running back
The only thing that change was my feelings for you
Each and every day they became nonexistent and
As I write this today I will remember what you did to me and make sure I never put myself in that situation again
I will value my worth and believe the next man when he tells me he TRULY LOVES ME
Both inside and out
Flaws and all
I will NOT make him pay for your mistakes
My love for him will be the greatest of them all because
It will be REAL and GENUINE
REAL LOVE