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Original Illustration by Megan Charles for Her Campus Media

I Should’ve Majored in Communications

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Albany chapter.

How can I call myself an adult

If at 21 years old

I can never say “no”?

I can never find the right words

To describe the negative emotions flowing inside of my head

I tell myself I don’t want to be a burden

But something’s not right

If every time I try to express my truths

The air leaves my lungs

And I’m paralyzed

My lips can no longer speak the words

My mind draws a blank

I tell myself that I’m probably better off if I leave it alone anyway

So I sit silently; in my own head

I wish that I could write a letter to the universe

And send it out my window

So that all my problems would vanish as quickly as the wind carries my words away

How can I call myself an adult

If at 21 years old

I still don’t know how to put myself first

I stretch myself thin

Empathy and guilt overwhelm me 

So I try to retract

Because pushing myself too far is sometimes the only thing that I can control

I should’ve majored in communications

Because maybe then 

I would know how to speak up for myself

The way I speak up for everyone else

And call myself an adult

With no emotional drawbacks

Maybe one day 

I will grow to stop disappointing myself

For the sake of 

Not disappointing strangers