How can I call myself an adult
If at 21 years old
I can never say “no”?
I can never find the right words
To describe the negative emotions flowing inside of my head
I tell myself I don’t want to be a burden
But something’s not right
If every time I try to express my truths
The air leaves my lungs
And I’m paralyzed
My lips can no longer speak the words
My mind draws a blank
I tell myself that I’m probably better off if I leave it alone anyway
So I sit silently; in my own head
I wish that I could write a letter to the universe
And send it out my window
So that all my problems would vanish as quickly as the wind carries my words away
How can I call myself an adult
If at 21 years old
I still don’t know how to put myself first
I stretch myself thin
Empathy and guilt overwhelm me
So I try to retract
Because pushing myself too far is sometimes the only thing that I can control
I should’ve majored in communications
Because maybe then
I would know how to speak up for myself
The way I speak up for everyone else
And call myself an adult
With no emotional drawbacks
Maybe one day
I will grow to stop disappointing myself
For the sake of
Not disappointing strangers