It’s only a few weeks into the semester; however, in the long run of things, it’s really over halfway through the year. After being stuck in a small room with the same person for such a long period of time, it can become frustrating to have to share a small space. If you’re started to feel annoyed and anxious, you’re not alone. Here are a few tricks to help mend any issues you may be having.
1. Try talking
It might sound like the obvious thing to do, but sometimes it can be one of the hardest conversations to have. Simply keeping frustrations to yourself won’t fix any problems. Sit your roommate down and say, “Can we talk?” Remember to use many “I feel” phrases instead of attacking “You need to” phrases.
2. Be honest
Don’t try to choke down your feelings. The room is your room too, so you need to feel comfortable in it. If you’re trying to start talking out any issues, don’t downgrade your own feelings. Sometimes it can be easier to make something that it bothering you a lot seem like it’s only a small deal in order to avoid conflict, but then you will never get the results you want. Honesty is always the best policy.
3. Set rules
Make a few ground rules for how things should go in the room. For example, maybe boyfriends shouldn’t be in the room later than 11:00 on school nights. Setting a few rules as a basis for how to keep the peace is always helpful.
4. Revisit rules already in place
Already have some rules from when you first moved in? Revisit them. Go through the rules and evaluate whether you have both been following them. If not, make an effort to really follow the rules and make each other feel comfortable in the room.
5. Fill out a roommate agreement form
Some residents assistants already have these plans drawn up for roommates to fill out, so try asking for one! If they don’t have one pre-made for you, you can always make your own. Make two types: one for each of you to individually fill out and one for you to fill out together by combining your preferences. Add things such as when friends can come over, how much notice to give one another before someone comes over, etc. Make everything that you two need to make living together work.
6. Find somewhere new
If nothing seems to be working and you still aren’t happy, it’s time to move out. It can be a difficult decision to make and may even cause some uncomfortable conversations, but you need the peace of mind to be happy. Thinking you can stick it out the rest of the semester is only lying to yourself. If you are not mentally and emotionally happy in your room, it will affect the rest of your life for the whole rest of the semester. So be able to make that decision for yourself, and you likely won’t regret it.