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Growing up, I had very little female role models. I remember how revolutionary it was for me the first time I watched Legally Blonde. Elle Woods was the female role model every little girl needed. I decided instantly after watching that movie that 1) I was going to be a lawyer and 2) I was going to Harvard. That little blimp in my childhood should have been it, but Elle Woods was a catalyst for me. She introduced the idea that femininity and academia were not mutually exclusive and my young mind was blown. Legally Blonde inducted me into my earliest forms of feminism and I’m forever indebted to that movie, but somewhere along the way of promoting the idea that femininity and academia can co-exist, it started to get a little sticky. People were so focused on tightly marketing this particular brand of success to women that they forgot that women were human. They branded our empowerment as red lipstick and heels meanwhile still upholding every traditional beauty standard but also (gasp) being smart. I’m not advocating against the possibility of women embracing this form of feminism. because it has had its place in promoting the success of many young girls. But we must stop to unpack why did it have to be this way? Why can’t women be told that they can succeed just because? Why must our intellectual and professional capabilities be tied to a lipstick or a shoe? Why must marketers continue to prey on the vulnerability of young women and turning this movement that was supposed to be empowering into something ugly? It doesn’t seem right that men get to benefit off selling us our empowerment. It isn’t being a “girl boss”. It’s being a marketing target.
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You don’t have to have the perfect clothes or have all these inanimate objects to obtain success because success comes in all shapes and sizes to fit many different women. We don’t all fit into the spectrum of femininity and this idea of “girl boss” feminism is pushing the most vulnerable women out of shared ideas of success. It’s up to us to stop leaving our own empowerment and well-being in the hand of those who simply want to profit off of us. I’m not saying don’t buy that lipstick or that face mask, but I am saying we must all make a conscious effort to stop tying these things to ideas of success. Why can’t you enjoy that face mask just because? Sure it’s not gonna make you more confident, but that’s okay. Liking little things is not frivolous. We don’t have to hide our little delights under the guise of feminism. It’s truly not that deep, sis. We are confident, strong, powerful and extraordinary, just because. We’re not “girl bosses”, we’re simply bosses. Being a boss is not gender specific. It is a human term and we need to stop gendering personality traits that are gender neutral so that marketing companies can make a quick buck off of us. “Girl boss” was cute while it lasted and it had its moment, but let’s make our future relationship with women in leadership one that’s not contingent on heavily confined gender norms.
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