You know the feeling when there’s a food or drink that you love so much that you crave it all the time? When even after you consume it, you are already thinking about the next time you’ll have it again?
Well, that is me with coffee. I love my coffee really sweet, so I always experiment with flavors and creamers in order to make the perfect concoction to start my day. Actually, I don’t even have to start my day with it; I’ll drink coffee in the afternoon, the evening, even midnight. I love it that much. Over winter break, I discovered a new favorite combination: Starbucks’ premade vanilla latte drink mixed with their white chocolate creamer. Every. Single. Day. I would make this drink, and I would have to physically force myself to not consume it all in less than five minutes. This resolution failed multiple times actually, but that’s okay. I believe that just demonstrates how much I love this drink. I normally prefer it iced, but with the cold weather, I was enjoying the pleasure of the hot version as well.
I was making hot coffee when the Dreaded Incident occurred. I poured the coffee and creamer into my cup and then placed it into the microwave for 2 minutes. While my drink was heating up, I went to fix the rest of my breakfast. I made some avocado toast and a fried egg to put on top, and when that was finished, I moved that and my coffee to the table. Afterwards, I was looking on YouTube for a video to watch while eating. Following a few minutes of scrolling, I finally found the perfect video; it was a vlog about this girl’s daily life, and it showed her routines, going to work, going to cafes, shopping, and cooking.
I was letting my coffee cool down while I was eating and watching the video, and when the vlog was around the halfway mark, I figured my coffee should be good enough to drink by now. While my eyes were still on the screen, I extended my arm out to reach for my cup, and before I even knew it, the warm liquid was everywhere: the table, the floor, and most devastatingly: my cute polar bear pajama pants.
Luckily, my electronics made it out from the horror safely, but I was having a horrible moment looking at the damage my coffee caused. Before I could even think of grabbing a paper towel, I instantly bursted into tears. It was just so oddly overwhelming. Being so excited to do something and just watch it all go wrong right in front of my eyes in the span of a minute was just devastating, as dramatic as it sounds.
After what felt like hours, but in reality was a few seconds, I began to clean up the mess around me. Clorox wipes, paper towels, and the mop were all coffeefied through the cleanup process. When I was finally done, I just went into my room and changed my clothes and cried. The fiasco ruined my appetite to the point where I didn’t even want to finish my breakfast, and the vlog that I was watching was long forgotten. I just cried and cried and cried until I physically couldn’t do so anymore. It wasn’t even about the coffee spilling anymore; I was just revealing any repressed emotions at the moment.
When I think back on the moment, the whole situation was kind of healing actually. I tend to hold in my emotions unconsciously. Even when I want to cry I struggle to get the tears out, so the coffee situation actually may have prompted a much needed crying session. I was extremely stressed out during winter break, which is ironic, but being back at home really was starting to take its toll on my mental health and I did not even realize it. I was holding in so much sadness and tension, and I just needed the one thing I was looking forward to to fail in order to really accept and feel the emotions I was holding in. So although this situation was a moment where everything went off the rails, the incident also put me back on track.