When you are missing a loved one who has passed away, it can be a heavy burden on your mind. After experiencing a loss over the holidays myself, life has not been the same. Others may think that once the dust has settled, it’s easy to move on. Well, I can tell you, this is far from the truth. Missing someone you can no longer see or talk to feels like being buried under a pile of bricks. At night when you are alone with your thoughts or simply want to share great news with your loved one… that’s when it hurts the most. If only we were given one last phone call from heaven could that help ease the pain just a bit. Here are a few suggestions to help you cope when you are terribly missing someone.
Let Yourself Be Vulnerable
Sometimes bottling up your emotions can make you feel worse. Be vulnerable and let the tears flow. Not only is this a release but shows us the beauty of being human. We all experience love and loss in our lives, so appreciate the opportunity you have been given to have been able to love so deeply. Also, do not be afraid of seeking professional help. A therapist or a social worker can be helpful in times of need.
Memory Book
When you feel the time is right, as it can be rough in the beginning, go through the pictures you have of you and your loved one. Put together a memory book or a scrapbook so whenever you are feeling down, you can go through them and cherish all the good times you had together.
Go to Their Favorite Places
Is there a place you and your loved one used to go together? For me, I feel at peace when I go down to the beach. I remember all the times my Pop Pop and I would walk for hours and collect shells. By going to that special place, you continue to keep a special bond between you two.
Make a Date
Sometimes having a fun distraction can be helpful. Make a plan to go out to dinner with a friend, or take a day trip to the city. It’s always nice to have a friend to vent to, especially if you’re feeling down. This will give you a chance to clear your head and focus on the other positive aspects you have going for you in life.
Celebration of Life
While it is easier said than done, celebrating one’s life instead of remembering the very end can bring joy to you and to others who are grieving. Hold a luncheon at your favorite restaurant or local church where family and friends can come together to talk about a loved one’s life and fond memories.
Whether you have lost someone recently or years ago, it is never an easy thing to cope with. Just know they will always be with you, proud of you, and watching out for you… even if you can’t see them. I will leave you with a few of my favorite lines from a beloved poem by Henry Scott Holland:
“Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just round the corner. All is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before. How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!”