My favourite thing about being a woman is without a doubt the comfort and joy that true female friendships bring. In the past, I felt like I did not have this appreciation. Probably because I hadn’t found the right people–except from one of my best friends, who I have known since I was around3 years old. I had originally thought that all female friendships had to bring was pettiness and drama-but now, my perception has completely changed.
In the past year or so, I have becomeextremelyclose with a few female friends who I wouldn’tchange for theentire world.These friendships arecomforting,nurturing,andeasy-going. Theyfeel completely natural.There is one friendshipin particularthatIdon’t thinkIwouldbe able tosurvive without(well except for my mum–my first best friend).There is an unmeasurableserenity in knowing that I have a certain someone who I can tellall my good news to, gossip aboutrelationshipsandwork, or to even just spend time ineach other’scompany.
In past friendships ,I felt as if I couldn’t be myself-I had never felt so alienated and out of place before. But now it truly feels like I have met a soulmate-a sister. The connection we have relies on vulnerability; we aren’t afraid to show our good or our bad. It is so refreshing to know that you can trust someone and be trusted in return.
From boy troubles to being sick in a club toilet, I know that we have each other’s back. We can share all the details about our life, from period cramps to awkward encounters (there is no escaping these topics),we feel comfortable and open. It also feels good when you realise that you have the same amount of weirdness etched in your brain, that’s when you know you have found a best friend.
Some of my most treasured memories in life are with my true female friends. These include getting ready for a night out together, going on road trips, going for lunch/coffee dates, browsing in a bookshop, watching movies together, or even just sitting in a parked car talking and listening to music. It is during these moments when nothing feels forced. There is no judgement, nastiness or feelings that I owe anyone anything. Instead, I feel entirely content and happy.
In 2018,Journalist Kate Leaver, told The Standard that ‘there is something undeniably different in female and male friendships.’ she said the best way to describe it is that ‘women stand face to face in life; men stand shoulder to shoulder against the world.’ I find this to be completely true, although I have many male friends, I feel as if I don’t connect with them the same way. Mainly due to the lack of shared experiences. For example, I wouldn’t talk to my male friends about my period, or I wouldn’t expect them to fully understand the gender discrimination women face. The way men communicate is very different from women. It is truly uplifting to finally be at a point in life where friendships feel nourishing instead of draining. There is no drama, no malice, just a genuine care and love for each other. You understand each other’s wants and needs and know when space is needed. With female friendships, when you get it right, you get it right. you not only get a friend for life but a partner, a confidant, and a sister.
‘Nearly everything I know about love; I’ve learned from my long-term friendships with women.’
— Dolly Alderton, Everything I know about love.
Friendship is one of life’s greatest treasures. Cherish it.