I had heard of the rare myth of a relationship occurring due to the ‘game classed app’ of Tinder. However, after reading Miss lovely Lovett’s article on the app I decided to go with a Yolo attitude and try it out.
It began as a funny game for my flatmate and me – she would play yay or nay for potential dates on my behalf. She’s taken, so I thought I’d let her have an opportunity to play the game all singles seem to be talking about this year. I didn’t think I’d find the guy of my dreams on an app notoriously known for fun and games, so it didn’t bother me who she chose. A few guys messaged me and I tended not to reply, until a (seemingly sweet) French man messaged me asking if I would be interested in going on a date. I had nothing to do that weekend as my friends were away so I thought ‘meh, why not?!’
Now, I will warn you this is a bad date story. When I turned up he seemed polite and nice, we had a few drinks and suddenly he turned to me and told me I was the most beautiful girl in the world – I mean I was flattered but surely he’s seen Scarlet Johansson or Keira Knightly? I decided to ignore these Keats and Shakespearean declarations of love and blamed it on the language barrier! At the end of the night he asked me to be in his life… Again I wondered, was this a language barrier or did I have a potential stalker on my hands?! I declined but immediately felt bad. I didn’t want to seem like a mean person, so I decided to give him another chance to win me over. As it turned out, this decision was vetoed pretty quickly when I woke up to NINE texts from him saying things like ‘I miss you already’ and ‘I think I’m falling for you’. Woah, hold your horse’s young gent, we only met for a couple of hours. I thought this was perhaps due to my cynical English upbringing on the idea of ‘love at first sight’ but his feelings were definitely not reciprocated… sorry Monsieur. If I wanted to live a love story which I’ve already read and cringed at *ahem twilight* then I would have gone for it but my realistic and arguably cynical view on life screamed ‘RUN girl, RUN!’
This haunting/traumatising experience shied me away from Tinder and dating, but I had already arranged to meet a guy from London, who was working in Aberdeen the next week. I was in two minds about going on another Tinder date as… well… I’ve heard more horror stories than happy endings, but as a person who sticks to my word I went along.
I remember being on the phone to my mum while walking to Amicus Apple asking ‘What if it’s as bad as last time? What if I hate it? She replied ‘Man up and live a little’ (thanks Mum!). I decided that this was going to be my last shot. The week prior to the date I had received more texts and Tinder messages from the French man. So to put it bluntly, I was expecting the worst. I arrived looking casual and ready to walk out after two drinks. But to my surprise he was a lot better looking in person, which might sound shallow but its true. Pictures on online dating sites have shown me that apps like Instagram can hide a lot of things or change your visual appearance totally!! Well today girls, I was glad to see this wasn’t the case!
Anyway back to London boy, he got up to kiss me on the cheek and introduced himself – gold star there, and ordered me a drink- another gold star… so far so good. The conversation flowed naturally and it wasn’t nearly as disastrous as I thought it could be. I had planned to meet with friends after the date (well, they were on standby, just in case I had another potential stalker on my hands). It came to the time I was meant to meet them but I was having so much fun and enjoying his company I didn’t really want to leave! So I nervously asked, hoping it didn’t sound too full on, if he wanted to join my friends and me for a few drinks. Again surprising me, he replied ‘yea would be nice to meet your friends’. I thought ‘Is this real? A guy who is laid back and not reading into things? Or am I just a girl who over analyses things when they really aren’t that big a deal?’ Despite my brain running 100 miles a minute he was surprisingly casual about the idea. Luckily, he fitted in well with my group of over protective and judgmental friends even surviving a very awkward encounter with a friends mum! She proceeded to give him a very hard grilling, stating that I’m a lovely girl and that he should not mess me about – but that is a story for another time (It was awkward to say the least…surprised he stayed to be honest).
Overall, it went well and I had a lovely first date. And the best part we have been dating for four months. A long distance relationship is on the cards, due to him living in Brighton and me being up here in Aberdeen. With it going well, the only advice I can give on dating someone long distance is that you can’t conform to normal relationship rules and you have to create your own set of rules for things to work out. As we started off as long distance, it took a while to get to know each other and made the whole ‘official’ chat difficult. In spite of these logistic difficulties it is working well and gives me something to look forward to every two weeks, so don’t be put off! Also, it means the honeymoon period last a lot longer than the standard relationship- bonus!
Finally, on a good Tinder note is a story about my friend’s views on Tinder. After seeing my experience of my first date, my friend began to go on Tinder. She met a nice guy and they have been dating for about 4 months and are already in a relationship, after getting back from a romantic trip away to Barcelona. I asked her what she thought of Tinder and she said that if she was single again she wouldn’t be put off as she has had bad dates and one good date which has worked for her. She laughed and said ‘boys are like a box of chocolates – you’ve got to try them all to find out what you like or what’s your favourite, and Tinder makes this a faster process’. Well said, I probably agree with her.
So yes you maybe have heard more bad stories than good, but online dating and dating apps do give you the experience to meet more people than you would generally. So if you are single and ready to mingle why not try it out? Overall, I probably don’t agree that tinder does result in a happy ever after, but then again most relationships don’t. We’re far too young to base our love life aspirations on Disney or romance films. So why not put yourself out there and see if you can meet someone different. Put it this way, I wouldn’t have met the guy I’m currently dating if I hadn’t used the app. So try it, worst comes to worst just delete the app and go to the more conventional way of dating. Here at Her Campus, we believe everything is worth trying at least once!