The Tinder swindler is a documentary which debuted on Netflix in February 2022. It takes the audience through the story of three women who were scammed by Simon Leviev, a guy they met on Tinder claiming to be the heir to a diamond dynasty. The man conned the three women in the documentary out of hundreds of thousands, but there were many more.
The con
Simon Leviev matched with the women on Tinder, inviting them to fancy hotels for dinner. He would then ask the women if they would want to go to another country with him that night on his private jet. He would take the women on expensive trips and explain the money he made with his business paid for his extravagant lifestyle.
After reeling the women in, the con would start. He would build futures with the women. One woman, for example, went to start looking at apartments worth £500,000. Then Simon Leviev would explain his enemies are after him and he needed to borrow around £10,000-£20,000 at the beginning. Many of the women did not have this money in savings, so they would have to borrow it on credit cards. The amount became more and more, ending up with one woman in debt for £250,000. These women were borrowing on behalf of Simon Leviev, without him paying them back. He continued stating his enemies were coming after him and he needed the money to stay safe even going as far as to send pictures of his bodyguard and himself all bloody in an ambulance, claiming they had been attacked by his enemies.
In actual fact, he was never in any danger. The pictures were faked as far as authorities could tell and he never had people come after him. All of this was a lie to get the women to give him vast amounts of money to fund his lifestyle.
The aftermath
After the documentary was aired, social media was rife with opinions. Many sympathised with the women, others not so much. The main criticisms wrapped up in victim blaming stated the women shouldn’t have been so gullible as to have given over this money to someone a little more than a stranger.
Let’s take a different look at the circumstances that led up to the con. One, these women were led to believe they are in a relationship with this person who they have met. Two, in order for him to fly them out to various locations across the world, he asked them to send him a copy of their passport. This man had all of their information, and in some cases, addresses for the women and their families, as well as their money. There were numerous ways he could have used that to his advantage, ways that could have been dangerous.
Victim-blaming creates an atmosphere of guilt, anxiety and fear around the wrong person. Cons work because they are clever and con-men are sophisticated and charming. This man preyed upon these women and they mistook his kindness for greed. The blame should lie with him and him alone.
Victim blaming
The hate the women received from someone deceiving them is misplaced and unwarranted. This attitude spurs on the perpetual cycle of victim blaming and perpetrator dodging. It makes it seem like the ones doing the blaming have something to gain when they do not. The truth of the matter is victim blaming is harmful. Victim blaming makes people believe that being scammed would never happen to them which is impossible to predict.
In cases such as the Tinder Swindler, it is important to put more of an emphasis on the perpetrator and change the narrative to how bad it was that someone decided to trick women into a relationship to steal their money and threaten them.
It is time to break the victim blaming cycle.