Bros Before Hoes and Sisters Before Misters. The infamous difference between bro code and Girl code
Ever since we were old enough to know how to spell the word ‘friendship’, there has always been a written rule book of dos and don’ts.
Have we ever stopped to consider for a second how that code differs between girls and boys? Yes, it’s obvious that we’re from two different planets but why does that mean we have two different rules for boys and girls when it comes to ‘the code’? Who wrote the rulebook on girl code? And more importantly who wrote the bro code?
Let’s just take a second to consider yet another reason why men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Here we have it, ladies, the difference between the ‘rulebooks’
Scenario one: Your best friend started dating your sibling.
“OMG fabulous! We can be sister in laws and when you have babies, I’ll be its official auntie! I can help you choose his Christmas presents and you can help set me up with his best pal and we can all double date. We can be each other’s bridesmaids!!!!”
Bride Wars Flashback!!
First things first, you can NEVER consider asking out your friend’s sister if you haven’t cleared it with him first. IF, and only IF, you get the okay can you start dating. But make no mistake, this is under the absolute pretence that if you mess his sister around and ‘locker room’ chat about her as you would to any other girl, your friendship with your best mate might not last much longer. This is a rule to approach with ultimate caution folks. Under NO circumstances can you ‘hit and quit’ the sister.
Scenario Two: Your pal didn’t come home last night and their parents/ other half calls to see where they were?
“em, where did he say he was? At my house? Oh em yes that’s the truth. He was with me all evening and we drank beer and played Xbox…. Oh, he said we watched a movie? Yes, that’s right, I mean a movie. We watched Avatar. Oh, he said Star Wars? Yes, that’s what I meant.”
Guy then proceeds to text pal “Mate where were you last night?? Don’t worry I covered you with the girlfriend.”
Let’s face it, girls don’t need to create a wing it cover story because we are already fully aware of who you were with, where you went, how you got home and what time you’ll be back at. We have the name, number, address and probably iPhone serial number of the guy you went home with. We probably planned your cover story hiding in the bathroom 10 minutes before you left and texted decoy text messages at specific times of the evening, so we have evidence the next day. So, if we do get a phone call from your mum asking where she is, we got you covered down to the number plate of the cab we all went home in.
Scenario Three: Let us flashback to the “Friends” scene of “Ross kissed me”
“Okay unplug the phone and grab the wine. Get the tissues so we are prepared for crying. Dim the lights, get some blankets. We’re going to need popcorn and some galaxy cookie crumble…. Tell us all the details…”
The conversation then proceeds to go on for around three hours while you relive every inch of the event and consider what all this means for your pals future and more importantly what she should do next.
Scenario Four: You’re on a night out, your friend has a wardrobe malfunction
Laugh uncontrollably at his split trousers and take 300 snapchats for the world to see.
SWING INTO ACTION. Someone cover her front. Someone cover her back. Get the soon-to-be crying friend with the broken zip to the bathroom ASAP while friend number three scrambles to the cloakroom hunting for that stupid raffle ticket in the bottom of their clutch. While friend number four runs around the club asking every available person for the much sought-after safety pin. Only when the crisis is averted are we allowed to take a snapchat showing the world how girls suddenly have transformed into expert seamstresses when steaming on 75p vodkas. We then proceed to tell said friend how not noticeable the double knot sticking out the back of her jacket is #wetried
Scenario five: Someone is hitting on your pal in the club
Clock the dude from the awkward eye shuffles you throw each other. Dance around him letting your friend edge in. hang back for approximately five minutes and wait for the signal. If she gives you a smile, that girl is fine, but if she gives you the emergency eye roll followed with a mouthed “help me”, that is your cue to ABORT MISSION! Grab your girls hand pull her through the crowd slowly disappearing into a sea of people all the while knowing if he comes back you can avoid him until the lights come on and the taxi has arrived.
Hive five him. Abandon him in the club and text him tomorrow to see what happened.
Scenario six: Your pal wants to meet up with someone on the night you were supposed to get together
Guys reaction: Give your mate a load of abuse for being ‘whipped’ and confiscate his ‘man card’. Slowly begin to accept that you lost another one to the women and reschedule for next week
Girls reaction: LOL girls NEVER cancel plans on a bestie if they want to keep having a bestie. Only in very serious cases is this rule ever potentially breakable; because if you’re going out at 7 and it’s already 5 you can guarantee your friend has already entered at least stage 2 of the getting ready process, and if you cancel now, you’re doomed
So there we have it, folks. I think this assessment makes it fair to assume that bro code is basically “don’t sleep with anyone I’m related too and let’s live the chill life”. Girls, on the other hand, make it obvious why we value friendships so much. We show each other that, as much as life is about laughing together and having fun, nobody will fix your broken heel, hold your hair while you are sick, or keep your secrets the way your besties will. And as for guys, well, they will come and go, but girls will always stick together without even having to sign the dotted line of a “code”, because we know we would be there for each other anyway.