On The Importance of Calling Each Other Out
The other week, I was standing and chatting with a group of friends and I made a slightly sexist joke. I didn’t realize this until my friend turned around to me and said: “Dude – you’re being really sexist right now.”
A little bit surprised, I didn’t have the time to get offended, because I realized that she was right; my comment had been out of line. I was taken aback by this, because I normally pride myself on being a feminist and not making jokes that could offend or further cultivate sexist thinking. I had slipped, and I was genuinely thankful that my friend had called me out on it. After all, it’s not a question of being born either a misogynistic monster or a disillusioned social justice warrior, it’s all about educating each other. This made me think about the many times I have not dared calling someone out on their sexist/racist/homophobic remarks just because I was afraid of them being offended or because I thought that I didn’t know them well enough to have earned the right to comment. I know that that was partly due to my own cowardice – those sorts of arguments can be exhausting – but I think I have learned my lesson: Most of the time, people aren’t actually trying to be offensive when saying things like that, but they just don’t know any better. Even if I might not be their favorite person just then if I remark on that, it might make them think, and that’s all that’s really needed. They might even be thankful for me pointing it out! I encourage everyone to not just keep their mouths shut when faced with offensive behavior but bring it up. There are friendly ways to do it, too: You can just tell someone that “I wouldn’t word it exactly like that.” Or otherwise, just question whatever stereotype they are throwing at you. If you can think of an example that is the complete opposite of what they’re assuming, that’s always good.
Finally, there will be idiots – people whose ignorance is born from pure laziness, who will not be willing to change their mind, whatever good arguments you give them. With those people, there’s no real point in trying to educate them: maybe just stay away from them and save yourself the stress.
images: https://68.media.tumblr.com/0f1ed7b58226bc6e865622acd4f3616b/tumblr_mrnzugwNSd1rphvsdo1_500.jpg, https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=not+funny&safe=strict&rlz=1C1CHWA_enGB…