A Weight Loss Narrative
Chapeau: I used to be fat, not fat fat, but fat enough for people to tell me that maybe I should eat more salad or to tell me “Have you heard about this new diet? It is really great, you should try!”. And then, two years ago, I went from 176 lb. to 121 lb., and my world has been transformed. However, it is the compliments that I have received after my weight loss that have destroyed my body image far more than any mean comment about salad.
Although it is now commonly known that negative comments about weight can have tremendous effects on one’s body image, I would like to tackle a subject that is less discussed: the negative effect of compliments. But first, little heads-up: this is not a text about a skinny girl who is so sad because people gave her compliments when her body got in line with the beauty standards. No. This post aims to raise awareness: commenting on someone’s weight, even if it is positive, even if you believe it is pleasing to hear, can have horrible consequences.
Now that this is clear, this is my story: I am a relatively small woman, who used to be “all rounded”, like my mother used to say. In my adolescence I gained a lot of weight rapidly and have been considered a fat kid when I hit the 176 lb. I did receive mean comments from time to time, lots of diet suggestions, sports suggestions, the very famous “but you should go outside – walk a little”, but nothing traumatizing. However, things changed two years ago when I discovered two passions of mine: climbing and pole dancing – two sports which require a lot of strength and a lot of muscles. In six months, I went from 176 to 121 lb. just because of my new activities and my world has not been the same. The first thing that people who I had not seen for a while would say to me was: “Oh m god, you have lost weight! You are so beautiful now”. Not “Oh it has been a while, how have you been?”, it was immediate comments about my weight loss. How way better looking I was now, how much my journey was inspiring and all sorts of other comments. Because of that I was, and still am, associating my skinniness to beauty. Because people associated my new weight to beauty, to better health, it felt like nobody found me beautiful before.
Therefore, because of the compliments, I am now terrified at the idea of gaining weight again. I am now watching what I am eating and am doing more sport than ever. Compliments got me shaking at the idea of losing people’s validation of my body, validation that I did not care for before. My ultimate point is simple: do not make comment about people’s weight because the nicest thing can mess up a person’s perception of themselves.
Océane Mahieu