Falling in love with your best friend
I couldn’t tell you the exact moment I fell in love with him. I was in denial for months, until one day he told me he was seeing someone and I felt like I had ran into a brick wall.
He was one of the first people I met at University. I remember thinking how funny and attractive he was, but we seemed to click more as friends. We started hanging out in the same group, then began spending time together one on one. He would pop round for a coffee and we’d just talk about our days, it was a casual friendship to begin with. However as the year went on, we started to share more, and soon he was the first person I turned to for advice and vice versa. When we said goodbye for Christmas, the thought of not seeing him for a month affected me more than I thought it would. Out of all my friends, I found saying goodbye to him the hardest.
By Christmas I knew I was in love with him, but denied it until the beginning of summer when we said goodbye again and I cried. Even though we spoke every day, I still missed him. I told my friend from home all about him, and although I was aware that when I spoke about him I did gush a little, I thought that was because I couldn’t believe someone as amazing as him was my best friend. When she declared ‘you’re in love with him’, I laughed her remarks away, but after that I couldn’t help but feel like she was right.
After that, I went into denial. I knew I was in love with him, but he was my best friend and our friendship was more important than my feelings. I’m not proud of how I coped during this time because I slept around, thinking that would somehow make me realise it wasn’t true. We came back to University and for the first couple of weeks I was so elated to be back with him. To see him happy because he had started to see this girl he really liked, that I didn’t even realise how much I was hurting.
After a couple of days crying and feeling confused I decided to tell him the truth. It’s the most terrifying thing I’ve ever done. We had a massive argument and he denied everything I said. When he was finally convinced that it was real, he said he needed time to think about things.
Now we’re back to being best friends. He said he was sorry for how he acted, and our friendships is one of the most important things to him. Even though I know it’s going to be hard, and I’ll probably fall in love with him even more; I just want him to be happy. That to me is love- putting another person’s feelings before your own.