HCAU Reviews: Crybaby by Paloma Faith

HCAU Reviews: Crybaby by Paloma Faith

 

 

Do you know the phrase ‘Boys don’t cry’ I’m sure you’ve heard it somewhere before, at least the rule that boys and men shouldn’t cry because a man is supposed to be strong and crying would be considered as weak, even worse losing your manhood. To be honest, I think this concept is rubbish. What makes it worse is that in England most of the boys prefer harming themselves than crying. Are you aware how crazy that is? To challenge this notion and open up a space for men, Paloma Faith has written a song called Crybaby. When I first heard the song for the first time, I’ve understood: a woman who shows her feelings. Because of these lyrics, I looked it up and realized that I’ve not only misheard and misunderstood the song, but also got it all wrong. Thankfully. So it was actually a good idea to look it up and read the lyrcis.

 

A real man shows his feelings

Tears they can be healing

And I can be your savior tonight

So go on and cry, baby, crybaby,

Just cry, oh

 

 

I think the savior is this time the woman and not the man. So Paloma does something very interesting. I believe that there are more women out there in the world who think that finding the man validates their existence as if a man would have to save you from your own misery in order to live happily forever after. I think Paloma suggests that the man needs someone who can listen to him, no matter what sex and gender this person has.

 

To be honest, I agree with the songwriter: A real man shows his feelings. There are so many myths on manhood same as on womanhood, but a man who cries knows he shouldn’t be ashamed of his tears, which makes him authentic, sympathetic and yes ‘real’, not a copy version of these hypermasculine, testosterone-boosted superheroes that many boys and still men aspire to.

 

As a sensitive person who learned from a young age on that crying is in truth a great way to heal. It was just the environment where I was living, who didn’t get the idea and considered crying as weak and shameful I had to cry several times in public because I had to.  I was hurt several times, but the good thing about crying is that it never made me embittered. It helped me to forgive people. I just had to learn to accept that there will be people who will never grow out of the idea that crying is just for babies.

 

When I was in Vienna, I once had an interesting conversation with a friend about crying in general. Most people don’t even have the courage to cry because it is so much easier to suppress your feelings. I agree with her: The world would be a better place if more people would let their tears flow.

 

However, it’s not a good sign, if you have the need to cry every time. You should find some balance, but anyone who had to cry knows how good it just feels to have a good cry. It’s releasing your fears and the pain, which you held on too long.

 

I really would like to know where this phrase comes from and how it has shaped masculinity to which many men conform. Many years ago, my psychologist was not very fond of my crying. I never really cried at his office, but I told him when I cried. He asked: And then? As if my crying would be pointless. Well, maybe it was pointless at that time, but I might have turned into a passive-aggressive monster that would leash out at every criticism I received.

 

Now this is for you men out there. Crying is not embarrassing, it’s human. If you have the need to cry, then cry. Your wellbeing and state of mind go first. I think there should be a space for men where they can talk openly about their feelings and what their concerns are.

 

I’ve recently just had a short chat with a student because I could feel that he had the need to talk so someone because he looked sad. I didn’t know the person beforehand, but when I saw him smiling afterwards, I knew that I did the right thing. I was supposed to sell cupcakes for a charity on that day, but talking to this person made me feel much better afterwards. I knew that I was doing the right thing.

 

Paloma has created something beautiful with this song and the music video is worth watching as well!

 

Sources

 

 

https://genius.com/Paloma-faith-crybaby-lyrics