Look, sorority rush can be overwhelming. For potential new members (PNMs), there’s a lot to juggle. From planning outfits to balancing long, busy days to remembering everything about the sororities you’ve visited, surviving and thriving during rush is a tall order.
One of the most stressful parts of rush for PNMs are the conversations with current sorority members. These conversations are a great way to make a lasting, positive impression on the women who may become your sisters. However, making a less positive impression can mean losing the chance at joining a certain sorority. But how do you even make a good impression during these conversations — isn’t it all just small talk?
Most people know what not to talk about — aka, the 5 Bs: boys, booze, beliefs, bucks, and ballots. Unfortunately, the rules of what to ask are less clear, leaving plenty of room for self-doubt and uncertainty. To make these conversations easier, here are 12 icebreakers for PNMs to ask current members to learn more about the individual members and the sorority as a whole —or just to avoid awkward silences — provided by real members of Greek life.
What is something you love to talk about but haven’t gotten the chance to discuss yet?
Olivia Phillips, a Greek-affiliated Mizzou student, suggests this question for PNMs. It’s a way to learn about the interests of your potential future sister — maybe even finding some common interests — without prying. Even better, it helps you learn about the unique traits of the women you’re talking with.
Tell me about your best friend or friend group within your sorority.
This open-ended conversation-starter, recommended by Mizzou sorority member Addilyn Branson, is another way to find common ground with whoever you’re talking to. Friendships are an integral part of Greek life, so finding shared values is important, and can lead to some great stories.
Who has your favorite professor been?
Sharing personal stories is a great way to make a lasting impression on your potential sisters and show why you’re a good fit for them. Phillips thinks this question is good because “[it] can give some [insight] into some of their favorite subjects, what traits or personalities they enjoy to be around, or who they look up to” and opens up the opportunity for you to share your academic wins, as well.
Which color do you think best represents your personality?
Getting to know women during rush should be fun. Asking someone to describe themselves via a color is a nonserious but creative way to learn about your potential sisters.
Who is someone in your sorority that you admire?
People are naturally more comfortable talking about something (or in this case, someone) they love. “This can show some of [their] values in other people around them and how they interact with those around them,” Phillips said. It also helps you familiarize yourself with other members of the sorority who you may not have met yet.
Why did you decide to rush?
Rush draws a large group of women every year, but everyone has their own reason for why they decided to participate. Learn more about the lives and values of the sorority sisters you talk to by asking about her reasons for rushing. Asking this question allows for more personal conversation and connection, which is why Branson recommends it.
What qualities is your org looking for in PNMs?
Different sororities will look for different qualities and characteristics when deciding who they want to offer a bid to. Asking a current sister what she is looking for in her potential future sisters allows you to learn more about the sororities you are seeking to join, and where you might be the best fit.
What advice would you give your PNM self?
You and the sorority members you talk to may appear very different at first glance, but you share one underlying similarity: You know what it’s like to be a PNM. Tap into this shared background by asking the person you’re talking to about their own rush experience — maybe you’ll find similarities to bond over, or at least some useful advice.
What’s the greatest lesson you learned from rushing?
Rush can be an intense experience, and often one that leaves participants overwhelmed with emotion. Regardless of the outcome of your rush experience, the process of rush requires self-reflection and awareness. Talking to sorority members about what they learned about themselves can help reassure you on your own journey, and provide diverse perspectives on the benefits of rush.
What do you consider to be your superpower?
This question may seem less serious than the others, but that’s the point. Don’t get too bogged down in the nitty-gritty, take a moment to have fun by asking something creative and entertaining!
How would you define the culture of this sorority?
No two sororities are the same. Learning about the unique environment and cultures of each sorority is a good way for you to figure out where you belong in the Greek world.
What is something that has inspired you recently?
Rush is a long, taxing process for returning members and PNMs alike. So, why not ask what’s been keeping your potential sisters going? What’s bringing them joy? Bonus: Ending the conversation on a positive note like this is sure to make you stand out after a long day of gabbing about the weather.