I’ve tried my fair share of eating trends. I was even a pescetarian for the past three years. However, if you asked me the reason why I started doing that, I’d tell you I genuinely can’t even remember. Sure, I read books and articles on why eating meat was wrong and cruel, but I couldn’t say that was the reason I started. But it gave me discipline; it was something I had full control over.
So when I decided to maintain a Paleo diet for a week, it was because I felt like I needed some structure in my life. It also happens that I only work part time and I wanted to challenge myself other than walking up the stairs without getting winded.
It sounded easy enough, so I read up on a few basic rules and figured out how I would eat on a broke post-grad’s budget. Simply put, I wouldn’t eat grains, dairy and salt (RIP glorious pizza). I would mainly stick to lean protein, veggies and a little fat from natural oils. This actually sounded pretty similar to how I would normally eat. No big deal right?
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Do you know what happens when you tell yourself you can’t have bread? You instantly want all the bread. Ugh.
Instead I made a week’s worth of what I consider the world’s healthiest chili, which only had ground turkey, tomatoes, zucchini, peppers and green onions. It was actually amazing, and I had it every single night.
In the beginning of the week I cut out my normal oatmeal in the morning and had scrambled eggs with green peppers and half an apple. I thought this would be super easy. But after a long cardio sesh at the gym all I wanted was Subway for lunch. A big slice of warm whole wheat bread packed with some pepper jack cheese, turkey and crisp veggies. A girl can dream.
Okay, just kidding, when my lunch looked like this I don’t even miss bread.
For lunches I alternated between steamed broccoli, chicken, avocado and romaine and a salad with the same ingredients but with a little olive oil and lime.
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By the end of the week I was getting bored and I missed yogurt — ah, sweet yogurt topped with fresh fruit and granola. So the last day of the week I was a bit more adventurous and baked an egg in an avocado.
I love avocado and eggs just as much as the next person, but I’m pretty sure the top of the yolk isn’t supposed to just peel away from the rest of it. I want to say this is a mild Pinterest fail come to life. I was reluctant, but I put the top of the crusted yolk aside and took a forkful of the warmed egg and silky avocado.
It was warm, glorified mush. I think babies eat better things than this. It was my last day and I broke down and toasted a slice of bread. And ohh the results were oh so satisfying. All this breakfast needed was a little crunch and the whole situation turned around.
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What I learned this week: A girl needs her avocado toast in the morning. But I also woke up every day feeling so much less bloated than I would have if I made popcorn coated in salt. Go figure. Cutting out dairy even made my skin clear up from the few breakouts I was getting, yay!
Maybe Paleo isn’t so bad. But if I do it again, I’ll definitely be looking up how to make pizza Paleo-style.