As the year 2025 is coming to an end, I can’t help but begin to (over)think. If I had chosen a different grad school program instead of the one I’m in now, would I be in a better spot? Did I keep my best interests at the forefront of my mind? How can I better myself for next year? It’s not always easy to reflect, but it can result in some much-needed clarity. However, sometimes the clarity is not positive. Reflecting turns into persuading, and then spiraling, and before I know it, I’ve experienced all five stages of grief in a matter of minutes.Â
One thing that helps when I end up in such a predicament is reminding myself that I am not the only person feeling the same way. I am far from the first girl to have a chaotic crashout, and I definitely won’t be the last. Whenever I catch myself doomscrolling on TikTok, my thoughts and feelings are further cemented. It’s relatable to see people online express similar thoughts, but it’s inspiring to see when the crashout leads to something greater — and that’s exactly what’s happening on social media right now.
Over the last month, young women on TikTok have been rebranding their crashouts for the better! Introducing: the controlled demolition era. Though not entirely on par with crashing out, the controlled demolition is a great mindset for tearing down and starting anew.Â
This metaphor has been making the rounds on viewers’ For You Pages recently. Creators have been sharing about times in their life where a controlled demolition was helpful, and borderline necessary. Breakups, switching majors, life-changing moves, self-improvement — it’s all in the controlled demolition schedule. This trend is a great reminder for viewers that although restarting can be scary, it’s never too late to put yourself first.
What is a controlled demolition, exactly?
In a typical demolition, everything is brought to the ground as quickly as possible. In a controlled demolition, there is thought and intent that goes into the destruction: pulling back the drywall, ripping up the floorboards, taking out the electrical, layer by layer until everything that remains is safe and structural. From here, you can build back up, adding in each element until the desired final product has been met.Â
Dr. Brianna Diorio, a holistic lifestyle coach and practitioner, touched on the topic in an Oct. 9 TikTok. “Sometimes the best way to create something new is to destroy something that is old,” she said. “We can start to rebuild things from a place of alignment; not out of obligation.” Diorio said in the video that she loves the idea of a controlled demolition in the name of mindset shifting and taking care of yourself. “When we destruct things and break them down and strip it back to the studs, that means you can start construction mode. That means you can start rebuilding.”
Let’s be real, a bit of organized chaos isn’t always a bad thing, and a restart can be beneficial if you’re prepared to put the work in. So, when all turns sour, get out there, and in the nicest way possible, start destroying! You never know what may turn up from it.