Too Hot To Handle is back on Netflix and, besties, it’s a wild ride already. In just the first five episodes, this cast has broken all of the rules (one of them cost $40,000) and started more drama than the last three seasons combined. And while we all know that reality dating shows rarely result in happily-ever-after, you might think I’m a cynic for what I’m about to say: Astrologically, this cast is doomed. Sorry, not sorry.
Now, now, now. Before you get your feathers all ruffled, let me explain. I’m the first one to tell you that astrological compatibility is not the end-all-be-all of dating. If anything, I would lump it in with the preliminary social media stalking spree with your most recent Tinder match: it’s just kind of a screener (no Cancers for me, thank you). However, there are some definite patterns when it comes to astrological compatibility — and you can argue that with my long romantic history with Scorpios.
Knowing Season 4’s zodiac signs, I can’t overlook that some of these couples are anything but a match made in heaven. When the post-show Notes app breakup statements start flooding in, don’t say that I (or the stars) didn’t warn you.
- Seb & Kayla: Meh.
Oh, jeez. Where do I start? The hottest (and horniest) couple of the season is already solidifying themselves as the “it” couple on the beach. And while their chemistry is off the charts, that’s about the only chart that these two work out on — astro pun intended.
Seb is a Capricorn, which means that he’s confident, witty, and goal-oriented. However, due to his driven nature, Seb may be someone who lets their ambitions overshadow other points in their life. With Kayla being the flirty and romantic Libra, this can definitely cause a bit of miscommunication. While both of these signs are known for being independent, this can be both a blessing and a curse — Libra craves someone who will romance them, and Capricorn is too busy for all of that. Not to mention, both of these signs are tough nuts to crack: so emotional intimacy isn’t their strong suit.
The good news? If this couple has great communication, and is willing to open up, they have the potential to be a great partnership. Are Seb and Kayla up for the challenge? We’ll have to see.
- Nick & Jawahir: Sure?
Nick is another Capricorn man on this season of Too Hot To Handle and it shows, especially when it comes to his career. On the beach, he has his eyes on the prize — which is, in this case, our Aquarius queen, Jawahir. And while this match does have some great pros, there are also some definite bumps in the road.
We know about Capricorn’s struggle with emotions, but the same thing goes for Aquarius. When it comes to commitment, Capricorn may be more eager to put a label on it once feelings start to develop, but the detached Aquarius might take this as a signal to run! However, these two signs can actually form a deep and lasting bond, if they’re willing to communicate and make it work. In this relationship, patience is key!
Nick and Jawahir are, IMO, the most underrated pairing this season. Here’s to hoping these two make it!
- James & Brittan: Eh.
James and Brittan have been off to a rocky start. While the show outlaws most forms of physical touch, Brittan has been craving some form of affection from James. If this isn’t the most Virgo and Aquarius debacle ever, I’m not sure what is.
James is an Aquarius. He’s smart and witty, but oftentimes detached and aloof. Pair this with Brittan’s stubborn and forward Virgo energy, and you’re just asking for friction. This couple does have the potential to work out, but only if Aquarius is open with Virgo. Additionally, both of these signs need to learn how to compromise, and adapt to each other’s needs. James, let Brittan know how you feel!
- Nigel & Dominique: I’m scared.
Y’all know that I love Scorpios, but this is too much. Both Nigel and Dominique are bold, passionate, and intense Scorpios. And while these two can relate to each other, they’re bound to notice each other’s negative qualities that much more.
Double Scorpios have a tendency to bring out the worst in each other. Without balance, these two can go up in flames. While they may find it easy to connect on an emotional (and sexual) level, these two can get a little bit toxic when the going gets tough.
Nigel and Dominique are already off to a rocky start this season, but I’m definitely rooting for them to work on their individual issues, and use that water sign energy to make each other better! In the meantime, I am frightened.
I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait for Netflix to drop the second half of the season on Dec. 14. It’s probably the best Christmas present I could ask for.