For many women, their wedding is one of the best days of their life. And while this was the case for Selena Gomez, she revealed her wedding to Benny Blanco also left her “sobbing” — not in the way you’re probably thinking, though.
“This is how I work personally, but [when] something great happens in my life, I expect something bad to happen,” Gomez said in an on-stage interview at Fortune’s Most Powerful Women conference in Washington, D.C. on Oct. 15. “So instead of being present and saying, ‘OK, wow, we’ve done a great thing,’ which I do, I’m always thinking, ‘OK, but this could all go away tomorrow, so how can I make sure that doesn’t happen?’”
This sentiment even rang true on her wedding day. “I would say that’s my biggest conflict sometimes when wonderful things happen,” Gomez said. “I got married, and then I was sobbing because I was like, ‘I’m gonna die the next day.’ I just think that’s a little life thing.” Gomez and Blanco got married on Sept. 27 in Santa Barbara. California.
While Gomez and Blanco’s friend-to-lovers history sounds like a fairytale, overwhelming emotion has always been a part of the newlyweds’ relationship dynamic. Blanco reminisced about their first kiss during an episode of the Table Manners podcast on April 29. “I kissed her … and her heart started beating so quickly, and she started getting a rash on her face … she was so nervous,” Blanco recalled.
Being in the limelight for so many years, Gomez has always valued transparency with her mental health, and has shared a lot of her struggles with her fanbase. From her vulnerable documentary Selena Gomez: My Mind & Me to her responses at the Fortune conference, Gomez never shies away from talking about mental health.
In fact, on Oct. 15, she explained how her oscillating emotions are a result of her bipolar disorder. She went on to discuss cognitive therapies she has found useful that she learned in rehab. A future goal for Gomez and Rare Beauty is to eventually employ these programs in schools to help children learn how to grapple with her emotions — a resource unavailable to her as a childhood actress.
“The moment I received that [diagnosis], I actually felt equal parts terrified and relieved,” Gomez said back in 2019 while accepting the McLean Award. “Terrified, obviously, because that veil was lifted, but relieved that I had the knowledge of why I had suffered for so many years with depression and anxiety.”
Considering this and Gomez’s history of nerves in her relationship with Blanco, her tears are not a huge surprise after all. “My mind is a force of its own,” Gomez told the Los Angeles Times in January 2023. “And I love who I am, and I love how my mind works, because it is who I am. But I am so grateful that I now have a better relationship with it.”