When I first heard about the “It’s My Party” TikTok trend, I couldn’t help but start singing immediately. Oddly enough, “It’s My Party” by Lesley Gore is one of those songs that’s been perpetually stuck in my head for years — even though it topped the charts in 1963, which is long before I existed on this planet. Now, all over TikTok, creators are using the sound to suddenly question their long-held beliefs about something — from sex and relationships to roommate dynamics and more.
#ItsMyPartyAndI’llCryIfIWantTo (say that five times fast) currently has 7 million views on TikTok. And while the trend and accompanying hashtag are catching speed quickly, it can be tricky to figure out what it’s actually about. Even TikTokers report being confused, with the top comment on the original video saying: “there’s a trend to this song but idk what it means.” If you’re in the same boat, fear not. I’m here to break it down for you.
The “It’s My Party” TikTok trend features this sound from user @ineffablehaven1, which includes clips from two different songs: “It’s My Party” by Lesley Gore and “Pity Party” by Melanie Martinez (who sampled Gore’s song for the 2015 hit). Like Gore’s bittersweet lyrics, which famously chronicle a story about Judy and Johnny, TikTokers are using the trend to document the moment they questioned something bittersweet — especially if it’s a long-held belief rooted in something sad.
A good example of this comes from Caitlin of @TheMacSisters, who suddenly realizes that people used to say her voice was “annoying” — therefore, she got used to apologizing for it. Then there’s Paola, who realizes that her name isn’t actually that hard to pronounce, despite her letting people mispronounce it constantly. Notably, there are many versions of the trend where TikTokers realize they’ve become accustomed to problematic sex and dating norms, like this version from singer Loren Gray, or this one from Sophia Alina about boundaries.
The “It’s My Party” TikTok trend has been interpreted in different ways, but usually involves a conversation between two people (both played by you, of course — as you’re clearly an elite actor at this point). To try the trend, you’ll mimic an actual conversation you’ve had with someone, whether it’s chatting with your therapist, apologizing to your neighbor for your messy house, or asking your SO if they’re mad because they’re being super quiet (yikes). Then, as the music fades toward the end of the trending sound, film yourself having the realization that what’s happening is low-key problematic. Bonus points if you have a blank expression or appear to be in total shock.
While this is definitely one of the more serious trends I’ve encountered on TikTok, it’s clear that “It’s My Party” has made creators have some pretty legitimate realizations about childhood, relationships, and more — TBH, I feel like there’s some serious introspection and healing going on. I like to believe that some of these lessons can benefit the greater good, especially if you tend to be overly apologetic or feel insecure about an aspect of your identity.
The next time you need a break from #SwiftTok, try the “It’s My Party” TikTok trend for yourself, and let me know how it goes. If things feel too serious, remember, you can always make a trend as fun as you want, like Coco, who’s getting teary on her birthday because she’s a Cancer rising. Follow it up with a trend that’ll make you smile, and remember, it’s okay to cry sometimes. It’s your party, anyway.