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‘Grey’s Anatomy’ Makes Me Cry Time & Again, But This Season Has Taught Me That Some Tears Aren’t So Sad

I’m a huge Grey’s Anatomy fan. Ask anyone who knows me! Heck, my first article for Her Campus was about Alex and Meredith’s friendship, so it’s no surprise that I was eager and impatient for season 17 to begin.

If you ask any Grey’s fan, they’ll tell you that their number one wish — something we all considered nothing more than a fantasy, TBH — was to see Derek and Meredith reunite. I mean, we’d accept any crazy storyline if it meant we got to see him again. There were so many fan theory cover-ups, from Derek being an amnesiac to faking his death to work for the president, and I would have looked the other way for every single one of them to come true, no matter how ridiculous. 

But we got to see Derek again in a way we never expected: through a COVID-19 fever dream, at a time when it was so raw and real that it’s hard to put into words. 

Courtesy of ABC

Let’s get one thing out of the way: I’m a pretty emotional gal, and I love a good cry. But right after this season’s premiere I was a trainwreck, to say the least. 

COVID-19 has changed a lot for us, from the way we live to the way we see the people we love, and even in the way we do our work. Grey’s Anatomy has never been one to shy away from current affairs, and oftentimes they use their platform to shed light on things that are happening around the world. Naturally, as a medical show, viewers expected there would be some acknowledgment of the virus, but Grey’s delivered far beyond what any of us could’ve imagined or expected.

They found a way to show the realities of this unruly pandemic through the lens of our frontline heroes, and in doing so they showed us just how much we’re all affected. In fact, I found myself wishing I could just ask folks to watch these initial six episodes. I’m not trying to get them hooked on Grey’s (for once), but just hoping for so many to realize what’s actually happening in the world around us. So many people don’t take this pandemic seriously. At the very least, I’m hoping that any Grey’s fans that previously didn’t, finally will.

Even with the expectation of surprise, ‘Grey’s’ still got me

Truthfully, I would’ve been happy seeing McDreamy again under any circumstances, but this one was somehow the most comforting reappearance he could’ve made. When the premiere first came out, I knew something impactful would be planned, but despite them leaving breadcrumbs right from the start – like snippets of Meredith on the beach – never in my wildest dreams could I have put it together. Even hearing Derek calling out for her, everything felt so surreal. It was one of those moments that you wish for so badly that, once it finally happens, you don’t know how to act.

The moment I saw Derek Shepherd in all his might, boy, did the floodgates break loose! After a good 40 minute cry – and a TikTok filmed at 3 a.m to show for it – I still couldn’t get over what had just happened. For a lot of people, Netflix and TV shows are just that: entertainment. For me, it’s one of my favorite ways to relax and unwind. I love immersing myself in a different world, and the highs and lows of my favorite shows truly affect me.

Even still, I didn’t think there was more to come. I thought, “Okay, they know how much the fans wanted a MerDer reunion, so that’s all they have planned.” And once again – in the best way possible – I was wrong

I could’ve been so blindsided because of all the other intricately thought-out storylines happening at the exact same time. In the last season, we saw Amelia and Link have their baby, and I was so interested to see what that meant for them and what sort of parents they would be. But we also got to see how Amelia coped with not being able to work during a pandemic, having her mentor Tom Koracick battle COVID-19 and of course, watching Meredith fight for her life but being unable to make any decisions for her well-being. On the other hand, Maggie’s love life is still blooming, which is a welcome change compared to her previous love story nightmares, i.e. Jackson, DeLuca… need I say more?

And speaking of DeLuca, he, too, is a changed man! After falling prey to his genetic disorder last season, he’s working on himself, taking responsibility and even watching out for Meredith – instead of the other way round. DeLuca is one of many doctors who spent ample time staring at Meredith’s frail, pale body through her window – hoping by some miracle (or drug trial), she gets better.

So naturally, my deeply invested self couldn’t see what was coming around the corner: another cameo. Grey’s is notorious for making you fall in love with characters only to rip them away from you in a sudden death you didn’t see coming, so when an even longer-dead character reappeared, I think I fell into genuine shock.  

ABC

Closure was more emotional than I expected

After years of watching this show and seeing characters come and go, I almost forgot what it was like to have him on my screen. Coincidentally enough, George’s death was one of the first TV deaths that made me cry for hours on end. I was stunned to say the least, but above all, I was so content and thankful. Because it wasn’t a fleeting moment; instead we were allowed to see the kind of person George would’ve become. We got to see him talk about all the things we wondered about, like whether he was watching down on them, or on his family.

I always thought once a character I loved died, there was no way to ever get over it. For the first time, I felt closure over the death of a character I loved. I didn’t yearn to see them on my screen once more. And don’t get me wrong – I would love to see George any day, any time on my screen. But I no longer needed to. Because I knew everything I had to.

Usually, I’ll cry through the deaths and the horrible events that happen like the shooting or the plane crash, but this time, there was so much more. There were familiar faces, there was a very real pandemic and above all, there was pain.

At a time when the world is heavy, our hearts are hurting and we’re separated from our loved ones, Grey’s has managed to bring us together in so many ways. They’ve managed to show us the reality of the pandemic that many seem to ignore, they’re reminding us how it feels to lose a loved one but also how it feels to be reminded of them again. They’re helping us feel at a time when we think we could go numb because of how overwhelming the world can be.

But dare I say, I started to feel a little bit of hope, and courage and faith. Because I know we have heroes fighting for us on the frontlines. I know that there are selfless people working tirelessly to keep us safe. I know that it’s possible for us to band together and protect each other. Still, all of these will result in tears – but maybe some tears aren’t so sad.

Perhaps it’s finally seeing some of the familiar faces again or everything hitting a little too close to home, but this season has had me on the edge of my seat. I’ve been waiting for a new episode to be released every single week. Right now, the show is in its mid-season break, and I’m yearning (much like many others, I’m sure) for some new content – and some more familiar faces. 

I’ve always been someone that has preferred the earlier seasons of the show, but something tells me season 17 is going to become my new favorite season; the one I’ll turn to in five years’ time when I need a trip down memory lane and a reminder of everything I’ve survived, and I’m excited to see what’s to come.

Zainab is a 4th-year journalism student from Dubai, UAE who is the Editor-in-Chief of Her Campus at Ryerson. When she's not taking photos for her Instagram or petting dogs on the street, she's probably watching a rom-com on Netflix or journaling! Zainab loves The Bold Type and would love to work for a magazine in New York City someday! Zainab is a feminist and fierce advocate against social injustice - she hopes to use her platform and writing to create change in the world, one article at a time.