For Sam*, a 21-year-old college student living in Boston, the increasing presence of ICE isn’t just a breaking news story — as the daughter of an immigrant, it’s real life. When she turned to her campus community for support, though, she was shocked at what she found. “I felt extremely disheartened by the stances of some of my sorority sisters on ICE and the state of immigration in the United States,” she says. “It makes me wonder if these ‘friends’ would care if someone in my family were in the situations we’re seeing on the news or on social media.”
In a world more polarizing than ever, Gen Zers are becoming increasingly selective of who they let into their life. Following the deaths of Reneé Good and Alex Pretti, which occurred at the hands of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officials in Minneapolis, Minnesota — as well as the mass infiltration of ICE in major cities across the United States — many young people are choosing to prioritize their moral ethics over existing friendships.
Sam’s personal relationship to immigration is the entire reason why she chose to close off her circle. “I just was not comfortable maintaining a friendship with someone who does not believe that everyone is deserving of empathy and human dignity,” she says.
Bringing politics into friendships is nothing new for Gen Z, though. In a May 2024 Her Campus survey, 42% of survey respondents said they were at least “somewhat likely” (with 17% of those respondents being “very likely”) to end a friendship over politics. And with growing tensions across party lines, Gen Zers aren’t just considering ending friendships — many of them actually are.
I realized that if they were not able to see the disaster that is ICE right now, then they lack human empathy.
Taylor, 23
Young people aren’t cutting off friends just because they don’t align with them (though that’s part of it) — the reason behind it is deeper than that. “For Gen Z, political issues aren’t theoretical debates, they’re about the lived experiences of people in their immediate communities,” says Caroline Welles, the Executive Director of The First Ask, a non-profit that works to elect first-time female candidates to State Legislatures. “When we’re talking about ICE actions, we’re talking about classmates whose parents might be detained, friends who fear going to class, or community members living in constant anxiety. Young people today understand that tolerating certain political positions means tolerating harm to people they care about.”
Having a friend who tolerated the actions of ICE was the reason why 23-year-old Taylor* ended their longstanding friendship. “The issue was how silent or nonchalant they were about it,” she says. “They are white with incredible privilege, and since it doesn’t directly affect them, it’s as if they turned a blind eye to the state of the country right now.”
After seeing their friend act as a bystander to ICE’s increasingly violent behavior over the past several months, Taylor decided to step away. “I realized that if they were not able to see the disaster that is ICE right now, then they lack human empathy,” she says. “They don’t support basic human rights: Why would I be friends with people who support injustice at this magnitude? Or any injustice, for that matter.”
It’s more than politics, it’s ethical standards.
Avery*, 24
Stephanie Steele-Wren, PsyD, HSPP says empathy plays a huge role in how Gen Zers forge — and foster — friendships in the current climate. “For many, political positions aren’t seen as ‘just views that people have.’ Instead, they’re understood as reflections of a person’s moral framework and their stance on human rights,” Steele-Wren says. “This can make political disagreement feel deeply personal and, at some point, incompatible for relationships.”
This incompatibility was the reason Avery*, 24, also decided to end a longstanding friendship. Her best friend from college moved back to their hometown, and “she completely changed, even though she voted Democrat in the [2024] election.”
For some of these Gen Zers, the pain of cutting off a friend was outweighed by one thing: relief. “We always had conflicting viewpoints, but it comes to a point [where] it’s beyond conflicting viewpoints,” Taylor says. “It’s about who I want to surround myself with, and that’s good people.”
Avery agrees that the recent actions of ICE defy party lines. “It’s more than politics, it’s ethical standards,” she says. “Everyone should cut off their MAGA friends or boyfriends. If you want to change your opinion based on men you like and you can’t form your own opinion, I don’t want you in my life.”
According to Steele-Wren, seeing Gen Zers ending friendships over political stances, like ICE, isn’t surprising. “I find it to be a valid perception of what’s going on in our country right now,” she says. “Nowhere truly feels safe for a lot of us, and ending a contentious, misaligned friendship is one way to have a sense of control over something in one’s life.”
At the end of the day, all we can do is practice self-compassion and intentionally rebuild our community with people who support our mental and emotional needs.
Stephanie Steele-Wren, PsyD, HSPP
While ending relationships benefited these Gen Z women in the moment, Welles warns about completely shutting off communication with others. “The risk [of cutting friends off] is insularity. I’ve seen this a lot in campaigns — when everyone in your community thinks exactly like you, you lose opportunities to sharpen your arguments, understand persuadable voters, or develop community-building skills essential to change,” she says.
Further, Welles says that making the choice to end a friendship can only further cause a divide and can be, in some cases, void of empathy. “Cutting off people who do not agree with you does come from a place of privilege: it means you can afford to shrink your network because you’re not dependent on those relationships for survival, opportunity, or community support,” Welles says. “Many people, particularly those in marginalized communities or conservative areas, don’t have the luxury of only surrounding themselves with the politically like-minded; they need those relationships for jobs, housing, childcare, or simply because their community is small.”
In an increasingly divisive political environment, ending friendships over political stances — like immigration and ICE — will only continue. And for Gen Zers, choosing whether or not to stay in a misaligned friendship is a decision only they can make. “Much of this comes down to healthy boundaries and understanding what those are for yourself,” Steele-Wren says. “At the end of the day, all we can do is practice self-compassion and intentionally rebuild our community with people who support our mental and emotional needs.”
And, for Sam, that means choosing to champion her morality. “Cutting off these friendships honestly makes me feel relieved,” she says. “I’m keeping good company.”
*Names have been changed. Interviews have been edited for clarity and length.