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The Disney Princesses’ New Year’s Resolutions

The Disney princesses are many things: brave, strong, kind and timeless. However, they’re not perfect. Just because they’re living happily ever after doesn’t mean there isn’t room for self-improvement in their lives! Here’s what I imagine our favorite Disney princesses hope to accomplish next year. 

Ariel: Go vegan

When Ariel became human, she insisted that her castle provide her with vegetarian options. However, she was horrified when she looked closely at her soy sauce label and saw it included anchovy paste. Who knows what other seemingly innocuous foods might include fish? This year, Ariel will switch to an all-vegan diet to avoid the possibility of accidentally consuming her best friend, Flounder.

Snow White: Spend more time in the sun

At her last medical checkup, Snow White learned that having skin as white as snow might be an indication she has a vitamin D deficiency. Her doctor recommended she get out of the dark, enchanted forest and into the sun. This year she’s planning on getting a sunroom installed into the castle. Maybe she’ll even get a tan!

Belle: Get through Proust’s ‘In Search of Lost Time’

We all know about Belle’s affection for books. She’s already gotten through all the Harry Potter books, the Lord of the Rings trilogy and the available books in the Game of Thrones series. Now she wants to go back to her French roots and tackle this seven-volume French masterpiece. After spending so much time in a small provincial town, Belle could use some complex Modernist literature.

Tiana: Get a good review from Gordon Ramsay

The Princess and the Frog ends with this heroine finally starting her own restaurant, Tiana’s Palace. If you’re like Tiana and love watching Hell’s Kitchen, you’re familiar with its host, the culinary curmudgeon Gordon Ramsay. Because Tiana’s a smart businesswoman, she’s looking for international acclaim by getting this Scottish chef’s positive endorsement.

Pocahontas: Join an NGO

Pocahontas knows all too well what it’s like for strangers to come in and interfere with your community. This year, she’s interested in joining a non-governmental organization (or NGO), because many of these nonprofit organizations do the opposite: travel to help developing countries. Considering Pocahontas’s interest in nature, she’ll probably volunteer to work with a program focused on helping the environment, like the World Wildlife Fund or Greenpeace.

Cinderella: Host weekly girls’ nights

Although she has Prince Charming, Cinderella has been feeling lonely. She recently figured out her problem: all of her friends are mice and birds. This year, Cinderella vows to chat up her royal cabinet and start going to parties in hopes of making some close (human) friends. As nice as it is to have rodents who do your work for you, nothing can replace a tight-knit group of girl friends.

Jasmine: Practice dancing once a day

In the past few decades, several Disney movies like Beauty and the Beast and The Lion King have been adapted into Broadway musicals and Aladdin is one of the latest movies to follow this trend. With Princess Jasmine gracing the Great White Way, she’ll have to practicing her dancing and listen to plenty of show tunes to stay on point. Right now she’s Spotifying the original cast recording of Kismet: A Musical Arabian Night, a 1953 Broadway musical.

Mulan: Write a memoir

Mulan didn’t wait around for a prince to save her — she dressed up as a man to bring honor to her family and ended up with an incredible story about how far bravery and resourcefulness can take you. Now that Mulan is back with her family, everyone keeps asking about that time the emperor bowed to her. She wants to get started on a memoir so that by this time next year she’ll be on the top of the New York Times Best Seller list.

Aurora: Stop taking power naps

There’s nothing wrong with taking a 20-minute nap to energize yourself. Aurora, however, can’t seem to shake her habit of oversleeping and tends to wake up from her naps several days later. This year, Aurora wants to get eight hours of sleep each night, so she’s not tempted to sleep during the day and potentially miss her princess duties.

Rapunzel: Take self defense classes

One of Rapunzel’s most prized possessions is her frying pan — it’s a helpful weapon when it comes to warding off enemies. However, recently, Eugene Fitzherbert (better known as Flynn Rider) wanted to make scrambled eggs but couldn’t find the frying pan. That’s because Rapunzel needed it for protection. Her resolution is to learn how to defend herself without kitchen appliances so that Eugene can enjoy his breakfast.

Merida: Learn how to juggle fire

Like many people, Merida wants to use the New Year to learn a new skill. However, she’s already adept in archery and swordplay. She has also become an expert in juggling her royal responsibilities. So Merida figures she’ll pick up juggling fire because, well, why not? She’s certainly brave enough (see what I did there?).

Elsa: Sign up for anger management classes

Disney recently introduced two of its newest princesses in the movie Frozen. Throughout the movie, Elsa finds it hard to control her magical ability of creating ice and snow. This year, she’s going to start attending anger management classes to prevent any further accidental incidences of harm against her sister, Princess Anna.

If these princesses are able to stick to their resolutions, their happy endings might turn into “even more happily ever after.” Until it’s time for next year’s resolutions.

Katherine Varga is a Contributing Writer for Her Campus. She's currently a junior at the University of Rochester, where she is pursuing a major in English (Language, Media, and Communications) and a minor in Math. Her interests include playing the piano, practically living at the library, and telling jokes that make her friends groan. She's currently taking a class on Stephen Sondheim and loves it so much she wouldn't mind marrying it.
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