As an Early Childhood Education major, I’ve spent countless hours in the classroom with students of all sorts. Children are unpredictable and we never know what these little buggers are going to say, but some of the stories never fail to shock or humor me. Here are some tales and phrases straight from the elementary classrooms, 2nd and 4th grade. Names have been changed for privacy.
Teacher: Now boys and girls, please do not touch or eat the shaving cream.
A: *proceeds to take a finger full and stick it in his mouth*
M: Miss Teacher! A ate the shaving cream!
R: Miss Teacher, how old are you?
Teacher: I’m 20 years old.
R: Oh. Okay. Well I’m a 500 year old vampire. *goes back to coloring*
W: I love summer.
Teacher: I love summer too.
W. That’s when my sister gets allergies. That’s why I love summer.
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L: Welcome to another day of high blood pressure simulation featuring these three chicken fingers and this…*pauses momentarily while looking at his lunch tray*…high saturated barbeque sauce.
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L: *runs up to teacher excitedly with his notebook in hand* Miss Teacher! These are the children I keep locked in my basement. They are trying to artfully escape.
J: Miss Teacher! R said she wants to cut herself and drink her own blood!
L: You can only have one birthday a year! If you have more than one birthday it’s called…..it’s called……it’s called….HAVING MORE THAN ONE BIRTHDAY!
L: *points excitedly at my skirt* TRIANGLES! There are triangles on your skirt.