Before coming to college, I had this perception that I would be able to do everything that I pushed off in high school — take care of my physical and mental health, have an active and thriving social life, get good grades, and on top of all that have hobbies and interests that I did for no other reason than enjoyment. I’m surprised to say, it’s possible, with a few adjustments of course.
In high school, my priorities were extracurricular activities and academics. My mental and physical health wasn’t even on the list. It was something I pushed off. Therapy and working out was something that future me—no, aspirational me did. Genuine hobbies? Interests? Spur of the moment activities? Non-existent. I “didn’t have time” for activities that didn’t fulfill a goal or fuel my productivity.
I always knew I sought external validation and a decent amount of it came from academia, but I didn’t realize how harmful it was and still is. How can you constantly work at something that you have little interest in without supplementing it with something you truly enjoy? The answer is, you don’t. You burn out and lose interest in everything you do, even if you truly enjoyed it at some point.
When I came to Davis, I disregarded most advice to pick two out of the three: academics, social life, or sleep. In the past two quarters, I have seen how these priorities shift in and out of focus in my life. I’m here to say that you can’t do it all perfectly, but it’s somewhat possible. When I first imagined my college self, I thought I would have everything together. After seeing the way I am now, I’ve shown that I’ve got some of it down but it’s not as productive, fun, and glamorous as I thought it would be.
In the short 20-weeks that I’ve spent at Davis, I think I’ve learned to re-center my life around myself. At first, I found myself still over-valuing academics, then it shifted to social validation; both priorities externalized my sense of self. Now, I’d like to say that I have a good balance — not perfect, but it allows me to be present and accomplish what I need to.
My current priorities are as follows: mental and physical well-being, maintaining healthy relationships and an unconditional support system, truly learning, and lastly, having fun by enjoying the little things and romanticizing my life.
As I center myself, I’ve found that I look forward to things that I used to dread or think were boring. I’ve embraced my little routines and the daily bike rides through Davis. I find myself looking forward to working out, researching new exercises, or checking my form. I’m trying to focus on learning concepts rather than the external grade attached and fleeting momentary validation I get from academia.
I’m still working on incorporating little hobbies and interests into my life, but I feel more present. I’m starting to romanticize and relish in the present because I’ve always lived for the future. Future me always seemed to have the best life, but at some point I realized, am I not future me for a past version of myself? Don’t I get to have fun?
All this to say, live in the moment. If there’s something that you’ve been pushing off, do it now. You’ll never do the things or be like the future version of yourself unless you do it now. You are the center of your life, not your accomplishments, your awards, or your external sources of validation. You are the one that made those things happen, so take care of yourself and celebrate yourself; you’ve done so much and deserve to reap the rewards.