Recently, I had a chance to sit down with Rachel Mahloch: a mom, a women’s advocate, a self-defense specialist, and a badass. In just under an hour, I gained insight into Rachel’s journey, her love for self-defense, and the advice she has for college-aged women.
Though Rachel is now a specialist in self-defense, the road to get there was anything but straightforward. As you will see, through all of her endeavors, Rachel gained transferable skills that she uses in her career today. Rachel earned a degree in music from the University of Illinois, after which she moved to New York to pursue an opera career. A few years later, she left opera behind and ended up working at a very prominent hedge fund, a job which allowed her to learn valuable skills about risk management, asserting herself, setting boundaries, being okay with standing in front of a crowd, and being who she is. She recalls that “it was okay to be direct and tell the truth, and fight every fight.”
Rachel got into self-defense and martial arts for fitness and stress relief. “I just started feeling something inside of me while I was training, that I could go to class and everything disappeared. All the stress and BS from the day just was gone for that hour. I was just myself with me doing what I loved, and there was just no stress.” Rachel earned her 2nd-degree black belt in a hybrid jiujitsu-based martial arts system in her late 30s, which is extremely motivating to everybody who thinks that they can’t do something just because of their age or other limiting factors. Rachel stated, “You realize it’s all mental. Your brain gives out way before your body does, and once you figure that out and once you’re focused, you can do anything, even at my size.” Like myself, Rachel stands at five feet tall, but has an extremely powerful, commanding presence. “People think I’m like 5’6” because I enter a room like I’m 6’4”.” This is the kind of power I hope to have one day. Rachel’s story is motivating to me because even though she didn’t have a solidified plan coming out of school, she was able to find success and her true passion. Many college students have no idea what they want to do for the rest of their lives when they are in their early 20s and there is so much pressure to figure that out. It was refreshing to hear that she didn’t feel like she wasted any time in all those years of opera and finance because it brought her to where she is today, and that makes me feel more at ease about my future as well.
Much like the world of finance, martial arts is male-dominated; it’s for men, by men. Rachel learned crafty ways to make it work as a woman, mostly by working smarter, not harder. “I’m freakishly strong for my size, but it’s because I’m efficient and I know how to move.” She credits her pursuit of self-defense to the school she attended, which supported women rather than putting them down, which allowed her to ask questions and grow. “A lot of schools are abusive to women… they keep us right where they think we should be, and I just do not subscribe to that notion.”
“Self-defense is a form of self-care,” Rachel emphasized that our bodies cannot handle the effects of chronic stress that many of us, especially college students, endure. It can lead to burnout, and we can develop serious illnesses.
When we discussed self-defense as a term, Rachel said, “self-defense is about risk management, it’s about planning. It really boils down to, ‘what are you afraid of? What are you gonna do about it?’” She believes that every college-aged woman should take a self-defense class, and learn how to set internal and external boundaries, with themselves and in relationships. Although men should take responsibility for their role in today’s environment, Rachel says, “this is a societal norm that we are trying to tackle. And right now, it’s on women to manage our personal safety.” A survivor of violence and aggression, Rachel works a lot with young girls and teaches them to have confidence and to know the truth about themselves, which isn’t taught as much as it should be. She explained that crimes against women are often about control, and we need to shift cultural norms and take back that control. Rachel says that although random attacks of violence are scary and real, more often gender-based violence comes from someone we know or an intimate partner. “That reality is why you need to learn to set and reset boundaries. This is a skill that needs to be practiced from an early age and often. This practice needs to be publicly supported, there needs to be funding, it needs to be taught in schools. It’s sad that we don’t have resources dedicated to that.”
Rachel has lots of valuable advice for college women, and here is what I believe is most important from what she said. “Know the truth about yourself, you’re the only one who knows what that is. Be proud of who you are, be proud of what you’re doing, don’t belittle yourself. Roll in with confidence. It is never too late to back the train up and say ‘no.’ Make sure everything you do is purposeful and you own it. If you have a regret about it, have the regret, and don’t do it again.” Rachel emphasized that we should never apologize for who we are, rather, we should assert ourselves and take back our seats at the table. Rachel reflects her own advice in that she does everything with purpose and takes pride in it. From opera to finance to self-defense, Rachel never does anything without purpose.
So, opera singing taught her to breathe and the finance world taught her to assert herself and set boundaries. Take self-defense as a fitness mechanism, a way of healing, to boost confidence, and for stress relief. Rachel taught me more about herself, self-defense, and my worth as a woman in an hour than I’ve learned from anyone ever. She is one of the most inspirational, amazing people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting and speaking with. Her current mantra in life and in her practice is “free from fear.” She explains that “Every single person on this planet has a fear of something; fear of being attacked, fear of being misunderstood, fear of being not good enough, etc. The principles of my curriculum make the path very clear and so, you can address any of those fears, physical and non-physical.” After all these years of experience, Rachel fears nothing, and we can all learn something from her. She is the ultimate battle woman, and she inspires us all to be battle women too.