Overview of friendships
Throughout life, we make all kinds of friends, and all of those relationships are different from each other. There are many ways these friendships may change, whether it be growing apart, growing stronger, or remaining neutral with each other. This is a healthy and normal thing, even if it is shocking during the friendship.
The dynamics of friendships also change throughout time. When growing up you may realize you want different things in the friendship, that you may have not realized were desired when you first became friends. It is difficult to stay with the same people for a long period of time during your formative years. There is constant growth and change that occurs in your teenage years, and this change allows people to come and go in your life. There are also different needs that people need to cover when becoming friends and growing as friends. Furthermore, there are many things that friendships can be affected by and need to be learned about.
Ways Friendships change
Friendships have a lot of potential when it comes to how they are going to advance. Friendships either last, break, or people become indifferent to each other. It all depends on what is put into them and how the people respond to what is being thrown at them. There are many different causes of decline and progression, and it can be hard to tell when these steps are happening in the moment. But when we look back on our friendships, we can learn which stages we are at and where we see the most growth.
Lasting friendships are the ideal kind of friendships. This friendship is someone you are close with, can discuss many topics with, and is based on your love for this person. It is someone who you want to be around and talk to about what is happening in your life, and can go to for advice. These are friends you may not see very often, but it is alright because you have a deeper understanding of them than a friend you may not feel as connected to. The understanding that you may have with that person is based on mutual trust and love, so constantly seeing them may not be necessary for that friendship, as long as you are still able to connect with each other without it.
Friendships that end are difficult to endure, but almost everyone has been through a friendship break-up. Some may argue that a friendship break-up can be worse than a relationship break-up because this is someone that was not expected to leave or hurt you.
There are many ways that friendships can end. Sometimes friendships drift apart, and other times there is a large break-up. Drifting apart from friendships can be harder or simpler depending on the person. Sometimes drifting is the easiest way to because it can leave the friendship with no hard feelings. People just got busy and weren’t able to make time for each other anymore. You simply stopped talking. There is no bad blood, you just are not as close as you used to be. Other times it can be harder. This typically happens when the drifting is one-sided or there was no sign of it occurring. There really is no excuse for what happened, and you are left wondering why there was no communication. Other times there is a full break-up. It is hard and sometimes confusing as to what happens as well. But there is confrontation, and sometimes it feels valid, and other times it leaves the person more confused. There can still be misunderstandings, or the desire to argue back. Lots of crying may occur when this friendship comes to an end, but after the sadness, you can look back and realize that it is for the best.
One other type of friendship is remaining: acquaintances and staying fairly neutral with someone. You have met, but you are not very close so you can say hi to each other in passing or have small brief conversations. But you are not very close, or far apart, you are just two separate people who know of each other. However, acquaintances have a lot of potential for becoming friends. You could hang out one time and grow immediately closer to them. This person could become a lasting friend. Many different things can happen with an acquaintance, and it just depends on which steps are taken.
How Friendships change growing up
The dynamics of friendships also change throughout growing up. When you are a kid making friends is simple. You go to class, play with someone at recess, or color with someone and you are automatically become best friends. There is not a lot of petty drama, or hardships that truly occur with these friendships. It’s someone that you have fun with and enjoy the company of.
Teenage friendships are a bit more difficult to understand or process because there are so many more emotions to deal with, and everyone is going through something that is affecting them. It is a very difficult time for everyone, and it truly takes work to make healthy long-lasting friendships.
As an adult, friendships become a mix of complicated and simple. They are complicated because there are not as many opportunities to make friends as there were when you were in a more structured school. This makes creating and strengthening friendships more work. However, the friendships you make as an adult are more fulfilling because of the effort put into them. There is also a new maturity in adult friendships, where there is an understanding that you have class, or a job that you do not want to miss. There is more encouragement to be the best that you can be, and to support the people around you as well. You do not have to hang out every second of the day in order to be friends, you can just communicate on a regular basis and be with each other to grow. There is not a pressure of competition, but instead a desire to cheer each other on and love each other. Therefore, there are many ways that friendships change depending on the different stages of life people are in.
What to look for in friendships
When growing up, friendships change and are more make or break. Growing up with someone is a difficult task due to the changes and growth people have made. The hard reality of many friendships is that they end after high school. This is not said to be discouraging or sad, but instead can be a good thing. It can lead to learning more about yourself and having the knowledge of whether that person should remain in your life or not.
There are important things to look for in friendships. These things would include support, healthy communication and boundaries. If your time and energy is being taken for granted or disrespected, it may be time to question if that friend is really worth being in your life.
Every friend you have should be your biggest supporter. They should encourage you to be the best person that you can be and support you in your successes and changes. Everyone is constantly growing, and it is important to support people in their growth, and be there for them when necessary.
However, this does not mean that you should blindly support someone when you believe they need help. If your friend is doing something that you can see is impacting them negatively, it is important to respectfully inform them. If your intentions are for their best interest that is hard, but it can be important for the well-being of your friends. Be supportive, but not to the extent of letting them go through hard times blindly.
Healthy communication is another necessity of a healthy friendship. You should be able to discuss how you are feeling, openly and honestly with your friends, and provide healthy communication back. In a friendship, constructive criticism may be necessary and can help you grow as a person and becoming a better friend. If your friend wants what is best for you, the criticism should be constructive and helpful to you and your friendship with her. You guys should be able to work together as a team and communicate with one another on what is needed in your friendship. Discussing likes and dislikes and knowing each other’s goals makes friendships healthy and allows for the friendships to last.
Boundaries are also needed to be established and respected in friendships. These could be emotional or physical boundaries that are communicated to help the people be comfortable with one another and lead people to have a better connection with each other. Understanding what people want and don’t want can help ensure that there is no anger or resentment in a relationship. The relationship will be healthy, and everyone is understood, because no one is uncomfortable with what the other person is doing. If boundaries have been established and broken it is easier to communicate the issue because nothing was hidden, and the situation can be resolved quicker than if the boundaries were not previously established. In summary, understanding the person you are friends with leads you to have closer and stronger friendships with each other because of the honesty and openness that is provided for one another.