Navigating your relationship as you move from secondary school to college.
First things first…
Things are going to change, and that’s okay!
You’re surrounded by new people, in a new environment, with endless possibilities… of course, things are going to change! Your college years are some, if not the, most transformative years of your life. Some of you may find that you grow closer to your partner in college; overcoming any and all obstacles thrown your way. But for the majority of us, we fall subject to something I like to call “The Milk Theory”.
In my humble opinion, secondary school relationships are like a carton of milk. You can see the expiration date is fast arriving, yet you do everything in your power to use up the last of what’s left before it turns sour. Once it does, the only place it belongs is in the trash…
“Life is short, the world is wide and I wanna make some memories”
I allowed my sour milk to sit in the fridge so far after the expiry date that the carton grew mouldy, stank up the house and was eventually thrown out the kitchen window. I learned that there is no point in holding onto a relationship that no longer serves you. In my case, my boyfriend was grasping onto threads of the old me, so desperate to keep me from bursting out of my cocoon. If you feel trapped, like you’re missing out on college experiences or simply need some breathing space then Queen; save yourself the heartache and throw away the milk.
Let’s talk about sex baby
Something I love about college is how sex-positive everyone is. DCU offers courses about consent and safe sex, the LGBTQ+ community is loud and proud and condoms are practically thrown at you when you walk onto campus grounds. For some, this may feel daunting, and there may be an overwhelming sense of added pressure for you to take your relationship to the next level. Know that this is absolutely not the case. Open and honest communication with your partner is the only way that you will both feel comfortable, safe and on the same page.
For others, this may be a time where you decide to explore your sexual desires. Again, in this case, communication is key! If your partner is supportive and willing to explore these desires with you, then great! If not, try to talk it through and come to a resolution that you are BOTH happy with. If you still find yourself feeling unfulfilled, then perhaps the milk has expired.
So the question remains: Should I stay or should I go…
I’m not saying that your relationship is doomed the second you step foot onto a college campus. What I am saying is that this is your life and we’re all just living in it! Put yourself first, be selfish, do what makes YOU happy. If you are in a healthy relationship that is fun filled and loving,then you should hold onto that and appreciate your partner, because although it is rare at this age,such a dynamic is possible to find.
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and if you’re meant to be with someone, they will always find a way back to you.
So for now, throw away the sour milk and switch it out for a bottle of bubbly! You’ll thank me later.