Recently my best friend from middle school informed me she would be moving to Ghana in January. Within the past two years this friend has founded her own charity, Together We Are, raised over $20,000 by her own networking and initiated the building of an education center in this poverty stricken country. Now she’s moving there to oversee its completion.
She’s the same age as me, but she has a vision, a plan. Jeez she’s even bought a house! The same night I received this exciting news, I ventured out to a bar somewhere near NYU, had a couple of drinks with two of my best friends, and ended up doing my best attempts at dancing on a not so sturdy table. So, if there was a “having your life together” committee, I’m pretty sure the picture they’d want for the poster would be my middle school friend and not me and my two friends giggling and shaking on a bar table (no matter how fabulous our outfits were).
Having recently declared my majors, being a junior is a scary time. Every topic of conversation seems to revolve around what one wants to do when they graduate. I’m hard pressed to have a conversation where the word internship, JP Morgan, and law school aren’t used with alarming regularity.
You’re supposed to have a plan now. But let me tell you a secret, I don’t, and I don’t consider myself close to having one. In my previous two years I’ve only changed my major twice, however ask any of my friends and they’ll tell you this number is probably near fifty considering the amount of times I’ve talked about it. So if you’re anything like me (and I’m guessing some of you are and are also too scared to admit it), let me let you in on another secret no one is talking about. Not knowing what you want, not “having your life together,” it’s okay. In fact, it’s perfectly normal.
While not knowing what you want out of life is okay, not doing anything about it is not.
So first, take a really deep breath. Let that “it’s okay” thing sink in for a bit. A little calmer? Good. Step two, stop comparing yourself to everyone else. So yes, what I did in the first paragraph, avoid it. Remember that little saying “If so and so jumped off a bridge, does that mean you would to”? That saying still applies.
Being at Notre Dame, it’s not a hard feat to find someone amazingly accomplished, someone who has big plans, or someone who’s been following a certain successful path since birth. I’m sure some of your best friends are on their way to being future financial gurus or incredibly talented film producers, with impressive internships, amazing contacts, and mind blowing plans all part of their “having their life together” experience. Just because that is right for them does not make it right for you. We all develop at our own pace, we have our own likes and dislikes, and in the end you’re the one going to be living your life so if you don’t want to be a financial guru or a film producer don’t try to be, because you’re going to have to live with it.
What you can do is watch out for the things that do interest you, and pursue them. That is how you will forge a path and find a way. Find a topic in lecture interesting? Google it, ask your professor for more information, maybe hit up Club Hes and actually read a book (GASP!). This doesn’t just apply to the topic you’re studying in school. Pursue all options that interest you, you might be surprised what idea becomes the future lynch pin of your “together” life.
I’m an accounting major, I’ve never had any of my writing published, but right now you’re reading my work because I thought writing this seemed fun. It’s okay to float a little. Having a multitude of different interests and experiences are just going to make you a better renaissance woman in the future. It is also going to give you an amazing background of knowledge from which to draw. Most importantly, it will allow you to erase all self-doubt when that amazing idea does arrive.
If you don’t believe me let me leave you with this thought. Remember my incredible middle school friend? Her incredible plan began from her pursuing a film internship for a company producing documentaries. They sent her to Africa and she volunteered on the side solely because it interested her, then that volunteerism became her life.