Our perspective:
When to Cut it Off with a Guy…
Okay ladies, we have ALL had those moments when we knew the latest guy we have been seeing is becoming…a bit too much. They all start out the same. Cute, smart, and funny, and you decide to begin spending more time with him. All of a sudden something happens, and you know it is time to kick him to the curb. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about the little silly things guys do that annoy us (slow replies to texts, eating like a pig, not cleaning up)- I mean those deal-breakers that are weird, mean, and sometimes even a little gross. Here are some tips in case you find yourself in one of these situations.
Clinginess
Often, women are referred to as the emotional ones in a relationship. Men say that women get attached very easily, and sometimes they even go as far as marriage and babies only after the third date. Luckily not every girl is Charlotte York. We have asked a variety of Bucknell women and found that sometimes it is the guy who is thinking a little too far in the future. For example, if he tells you he can “picture the two of you having kids together after only four times of hooking up,” then it is time to say buh-bye.
The other form of attachment that can be an issue is excessive texting. Everyone loves to text; however, when a guy is texting you all day, every day, it may be time to reconsider him. Oh, and if you have only gone on one date together, and he is asking if you are his girlfriend, he is definitely showing the initial signs of a stage 5 clinger. No girl needs a guy that is clingier than her favorite little black dress – time to get rid of him!
Ignoring Us
Unfortunately, someone who doesn’t care at all can also be problematic. He doesn’t need to text you everyday, but if he isn’t even willing to acknowledge you anytime on campus besides a party, then there is definitely something wrong. If you two have been hooking up for a while and he suddenly wants nothing to do with it, then it’s time to cut it off. A guy should be okay with being seen with you and letting others know you two are hanging out. Also, if he does give you his number and you text him, but he never responds, then it is time to move on!
Chivalry is Not Dead
When it comes to chivalry, we are not talking about the prince on the white horse coming to our rescue, but rather the gentlemanly acts that include holding the door open for us and offering to pay for meals…or at least asking to split the meal! This is not to suggest that a guy should be paying for every meal you two have together, but you should not always be footing the bill either. If he asks you on a date and asks you to pay for your meal, his meal, and the tip, then it is absolutely time to go!
Disrespectful
In terms of flirting with other people, the general respect rule applies. If you two have not talked about dating or being exclusive, then you are both free to do what you want. However, if he seems to be seriously flirting or hooking up with your friends, then that is an issue. Another warning sign that the relationship (at any stage) isn’t working: when one of you seems to care way more than the other about the relationship. If you find yourself in this situation then it might be time to move onto bigger and better things.
Just Plain Strange
Sometimes guys do things that may be weird or gross, and you just know that it isn’t going to work out. We asked collegiettes around campus for their stories about when they knew they had to cut it off with a guy, and here are their responses. If any of these stories seem to be true for you…it is seriously time to think about cutting the ties!
- When his best pickup line is “I like boobs.”
- “When he invites you and someone else to formals, and then lies about.”
- “He wets your bed. Not once. Not twice. Three times.”
- “When he pees in your snack drawer.”
- “When he doesn’t bathe…
So if you “woke up in wet sheets” this past weekend, then take the advice from this article and move on. Her Campus is here to help; just because a guy is in your life doesn’t mean he should be there. There are plenty of fish in the sea ladies…and ones that have actually mastered the post hookup text.
Now, for the male perspective of…
When to Cut It Off
Guys are simple creatures, especially when it comes to being with a girl. While it doesn’t take much to makes us happy, it also doesn’t take much to make us take a step back and reevaluate. We love a girl with quirks (I am adamant about the fact that perfection is boring), but there are certain behaviors that tend to give your man second thoughts. Of course, every guy and every situation is different, but allow me to delineate the most typical reasons behind the cutting off of a relationship:
Possessiveness
Just remember Mean Girls: Aaron Samuel was not Regina George’s property, nor is the guy you’re seeing your property. Most often a red flag in the early stages of a relationship, a possessive girl is a huge turn-off. Especially if you’ve only hooked up twice, a guy will assume he’s free to do as he pleases unless you have explicitly discussed otherwise. I once knew a guy who was asked to a date party a few weeks in advance by a friend, then started hooking up with a girl in the interim who expected him to ditch his friend to hang out with her. If you see a possible relationship with the guy you’re hooking up with, play it cool. You don’t need to keep him on a leash, because if he’s worth your time he’ll come to you.
Flakiness
This brings me to an important distinction: There’s a difference between playing it cool and being distant. Not much is worse than having plans with a girl to meet up, and then receiving a text at the last minute saying she’s ‘leaving with the girls.” Once? Understandable. As soon as it becomes a recurring theme however, he’ll be the one that’s leaving. A guy likes to see that you’re excited about spending time with him. If you have to cancel plans last minute, offer an alternative plan. For instance, “Turns out I can’t see you tonight, but how about we watch a movie tomorrow?” Even if you have to bail, it shows you care.
Talking to the Ex
Probably the reddest of red flags is when a girl is constantly communicating with her ex. If you were in a long term relationship with him, things ended cordially, and you wanted to stay in contact, that’s something a guy can handle. You don’t need to text each other constantly and well into the night in order to “keep in contact.” Even if you aren’t really texting him, bringing his name up in conversation over and over will bother any guy, even if he says it doesn’t. If something comes up and you end up on speaking terms with your ex again, just be up-front with your man—he’ll understand and appreciate the honesty.
There you have it: the most common reasons for a guy to “cut it off” with a girl. Hopefully with this insight, and that from my female counterpart, the readers out there can avoid unnecessary heartbreak.