Halloween, according to Merriam Webster, is defined as “October 31 observed especially with dressing up in disguise, trick-or-treating, and displaying jack-o’-lanterns during the evening.” Admittedly conventional, Halloween will always conjure images of creatively composed at-home costumes (cue: conversation heart circa 2006) and that after-school trick or treating pilgrimage that may or may not have continued even through senior year of high school. But going on my third year in college, I have developed a bit of a different perspective on such holiday, sans carved pumpkins, seasonally apt costumes and doorbell ringing but true to its nature, still having a deep admiration for the perfectly packaged Mars treat.
Beyond Halloween’s exorbitant calorie consumption (bring it on, candy corn), as Mr. Webster puts it, “observing” the holiday has come to mean more than the aforementioned notions of tricks and treats. It has taken the left lane option of speeding past cardboard DIY costumes and competitive candy collecting. Rather, it’s current, fairly collegiette understanding, can simply by summed up by nothing more than a little bit of good ole Mean Girls.
As Mrs. George snaps photos of Regina clothed, rather lack thereof clothed in some form lingerie resembling a quintessential Playboy bunny outfit, Cady’s voice dictates what Halloween has stereotypically developed into for these high schoolers, and well, us as well. “In the regular world, Halloween is when children dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.”
Taking Cady’s (in case you forgot, it’s pronounced Katie) words into thought, I reiterated to myself: beg for candy, total slut, girl world. All of these aptly phrased notions come together to formulate a rather forward understanding of Halloween: that the 31st now beckons a new type of tricks and treats. So let us begin.
The Slut Rule
There’s a universal understanding on the final day of October that essentially anything goes. And by anything, I mean clothing and goes, meaning gone. So nakedness? No, but close enough. To what Webster defines as dressing up in a disguise, any semblance of creativity has been transformed into a deliberate attempt at minimalism and not in the Japanese inspired architecture way. The tradition of dress up has progressed from your average childhood Disney princess to a challenge of the most creative in middle school to the sexier the better from high school onwards. And now in college where your parents don’t govern your outfit and beer drenched dance floors offer a plethora of opportunities, the slut rule flows right into place and molds for every mentality. So you say you want to be creative? Why not try the sexy Keurig outfit? Hungry and puny? Pizza is always a go to; especially as it perfectly outlines your feminine features. And if you want to take a note from your past, try destroying all of your childhood dreams and vixen-izing Cinderella: Walt sure did not see that coming.
As Regina George approaches Aaron Samuels at Chris Eisel’s Halloween Party, he wittingly remarks, “Didn’t anybody tell you? You were supposed to wear a costume.” But a costume is no longer a disguised ensemble as the originators and dictionary definers once decided; rather it is more revealing than ever. So much for the hidden adventures of that archetypal Halloween ghost.
Just another themed party?
When you were five, dress up was a daily activity; do you go with the Snow White attire or are you feeling more magical in the Tinkerbell tutu? Never in your life did you think at age 20 your weekly happenings would bounce between Bertrand library and Walmart acquiring good grades juxtaposed to that of a good costume. Welcome to Bucknell; the academically rigorous liberal arts institution that also has mastered making every night that of Halloween. From “Biggie Smalls and Overalls” to “Sexy Teachers and Mystical Creatures” the Bucknell social scene has the Halloween how-to down pat: cajoling partygoers into either skimpy outfits (about that uniform quilt your mom once said was too short…) or ridiculous ones. So what makes the 31st that different, anyway? I mean you did dress up as Tupac (may he RIP) last Wednesday and the Saturday before you actually strapped a homemade unicorn horn to your head. That being said, Halloween gives an excuse for individuality. There isn’t a dictated, suitably rhymed theme but rather the opportunity to express your inner costume fanatic. Instead of a mass exodus of safe but hippies from the average “high school stereotype get together” on 6th street, there is a dynamic mix of political figures to classic movie characters. So say hi to Tom Cruise through the ages from Risky Business to Top Gun for me.
One Word: Candy
In ultimate Fez fashion, dressed as batman and at the ripe age of 18, he declares every child’s inner thought upon receiving anything but a sugary delight after the press of the doorbell, “An apple? Where’s my candy you son of a bitch?” If there is not anything else you recognize from my discourse on Halloween, let Fez’s words carry you through the holiday: nobody wants anything that’s less than 100 calories and several grams in fat; it’s just a mantra on life, or rather, Halloween. Behind the nine letters composing the name of such a holiday lies the excuse to binge eat. It’s a holiday of excuses: to dress slutty, to wear alternative clothing, and to eat excessively. But this is not your average call to the Domino’s man at two a.m. This is the buying of multiple variety bags of candy on the convincingly decorated isle of Walmart. It is the sugary pain of three or more (yes, just three) candy corn. And finally, it is that ultimate sugar high that comes crashing down the next day. Around the subtle sunset of the October evening, as a child you would return home to practice your rudimentary math skills in terms of your acquired Reese’s to M&M’s ratio. Today, your math skills are not as challenged as you disregard the number and convince yourself that tomorrow is a new day, that today is Halloween, and the candy that lies before you is simply your only option for hunger survival.
As the chill of autumn advances on us, we disregard those shivers for just one more week, one last taste of slight spring delicacy as we costume up in an array of garb—from minimal material to the full fledge Ex Wife regalia of Cady—and indulge deliberately in candy debauchery. So as the 31st creeps up rapidly, let the sugar purchasing and consuming begin, the cutting of clothing commence and the brainstorming of original ideas come to fruition. To you, Hallow’s Eve, may the odds ever be in your favor.