Editor’s Note: This is just one of our writer’s opinions and is not necessarily the opinion of the entire team.
In the article, “Why Chivalry Is Dead, From A Man’s Perspective,” John Picciuto deplored the lack of time, communication, and care, men are showing women today. In reality though, is chivalry something us ladies still want around?
Chivalry is defined as, “the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, esp. courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.” I’m not saying that it isn’t nice when guys hold doors and pay for the date, but are we really going to continue to value a quality that assumes women are weak and in need of saving? Our culture needs to redefine what we want chivalry to mean and what our expectations of men are, something that has been increasingly difficult with the rise of today’s hook up culture.
One side of the story would say that women need to have more decency and self-respect than to give themselves away to casual sex while the other would say that women need to be independent and take control of their sex lives. Picciuto is under the impression that, “Women…have become complacent and allowed men to get away with adhering to the bare minimum.” I disagree. If women aren’t looking for a guy to save them and give them a romantic relationship, then there’s nothing wrong with men bringing less to the table. The most important thing then is the communication between a woman and a man about what they expect from the relationship.
Kate Taylor, New York Times author of, “Sex on Campus: She Can Play That Game, Too” says that today we are seeing very ambitious, driven young women, who are more focused on developing their resumes than they are on developing lasting relationships with men while they’re in college. These women work hard, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t have fun too. Society needs to accept that if this is decision women are making thoughtfully, it’s something that needs to be respected.
We need to get rid of this double standard that assumes men are allowed to enjoy causal relationships, but women aren’t because it’s seemingly degrading or not lady-like. And men, you don’t need to wait for women to explicitly ask for the respect and care they deserve; you should be encouraged to just graciously give it to them. Ultimately, it is not society’s job to say women should be asking for more chivalry. Women need to be supported in making the right decisions for themselves, be them as they may. So yes, chivalry may be dead, but as it means women being in control of their own lives instead of waiting for a man to come in for the rescue, it’s for the best.
This is just one opinion on the issue. Have a different one? Comment below!