Why You’re Never Going To Be Happy: For The 21st Century Adolescent

Back in the early nineteenth century, a German bloke called Schopenhauer published a book of philosophy which said that people are constantly driven by their desires (or ‘will for life’) and it is through this that we experience bad things. Once we reach one goal, achieve one desire, it is immediately replaced with another. Basically, we’re never satisfied. We always want more.

So what’s a slightly crumbly-looking old man with a haircut like bunny ears got to do with us?

Well, let’s delve in to the average life of a student these days…

It’s Wednesday night, you’ve got that urge to go out. You know you shouldn’t because it’s midweek and you’ve got a 9am lecture the next day, but you think, hey, I’ll allow myself to go out if I just have a quiet night. I won’t drink much, I’ll head home early. You satisfy your desire to go out, but once you get there this satisfaction is forgotten. You’ve got a new desire, and it looks smells and tastes like a Jagerbomb. ‘It’s fine’, you tell yourself as you head towards the bar. You can have a few drinks and still head back early! But that Jagerbomb desire has been satisfied and now there’s something else on your mind. You’re going to stay until the end – you paid to get in, you’re going to make the most of it!

It’s not all hedonism though. What about your desire to get a really good grade in your favourite module? A safe 2.1 would be great – let’s not be too ambitious. Results day comes and you’ve got a high 2.1. Lovely. But you can’t help but feel if you’d just worked a bit harder you could have got a 1st. Desire unsatisfied.

Chocolate? Pizza? Any kind of food that you know is bad for you? Your desire is never satisfied. Bring on the food.

So what about when it gets more serious? Despite what your parents might think, being a student isn’t always as simple as getting drunk at inappropriate times, scraping a decent grade and eating terrible food.

Think about your relationships. Are you the kind of person who is reluctant to get into a relationship in case it doesn’t work, or because you are scared you’re missing a better opportunity elsewhere? That’s fear of unsatisfied desire. Or maybe you’re guilty of always going for a ‘bad boy’ even though you know you want someone nice? Neither way makes you happy, because neither will satisfy your desire.

Never being satisfied is something that will resonate through every aspect of your life, insignificant or hugely important. Everyone’s experienced that empty feeling of hopelessness in your gut that you get when you feel like things are never going to go right for you. This is a feeling that is actually totally normal, and maybe the most important thing to learn when growing up is that this feeling is Ok.

It sounds pretty dismal, to say that you’re never going to be happy, but it isn’t. Of course you can be happy with elements of your life – some things will give you complete satisfaction. But everything won’t be perfect all the time, and it is recognising the feeling that comes with this which gives us the drive to live. To go out and enjoy those Jagerbombs even though you know you probably shouldn’t. To strive for those higher grades. To eat whatever you want because you enjoy it and you’re too young to care about cholesterol. Even to make stupid decisions about relationships that would turn your Daddy’s hair grey.

So no, you’re never going to be happy. But flapping about like a fish out of water trying to find happiness is close enough.

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